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The Top 7... worst product cameos

Good news. Somewhere out there, somebody finds you absolutely irresistible. They're obsessed with you and want to spend every possible moment with you. They want to be with you when you watch TV, when you go to the movies and when you drive to work. And when you're sitting on the couch in your underwear playing Halo at 3 AM... that's when they want you the most.

Bad news? We're speaking, of course, about advertisers. With your eyes glued to the screen and your purchasing power proven (you bought the game, right?), you've never been such an attentive and attractive customer. Prepare for the pitch, Master Chief.

But before we begin our countdown of the worst sells in videogame history, let's be clear: we don't despise all advertising. (A quick browse around the borders of this article should prove that.) Sometimes it can be subtle. Sometimes it can be clever. Sometimes it can actually enhance the game, making it a more realistic experience.

The following are not those times.



7. Dole Bananas (Super Monkey Ball franchise)

Super Monkey Ball makes the list out of sheer pointlessness. Who pays attention to what kind of banana they're buying? The answer is no one. Banana brand loyalty does not exist. So why would Dole pay to have their stickers digitally plastered on every one of the game's deliciously potassium-packed power-ups?

They didn't... in America, anyway. Which means that the SMB folks kept the logos in there for… what, realism? Does collecting Dole-brand bananas make the player feel more authentically simian? Do monkeys have banana brand loyalty?

See, we warned you this one was pointless.

Topics

Top 7 wEiRd

12 comments

  • ScaryEric - August 8, 2011 7:11 a.m.

    The dominos one is called avoid the noid and you had to deliver pizzas to the top floor of n apartment building and avoid the noida and traps because they would ruin your pizza. It was awesome haha
  • GamesRadarCharlieBarratt - March 11, 2011 9:57 p.m.

    My very first Top 7! Please don't judge too harshly... I was just a child.
  • ballplayer27 - February 7, 2010 5:35 p.m.

    Burger king was ALSO in fight night round three. Not that that game didn't have other poorly integrated sponsors, but I did think it was funny that the king could become a trainer. What better person to train a world class athlete than the mascot of a company that specializes in creating the exact opposite of world class athletes (aka fat lazy bastards).
  • Pepsuber88 - June 17, 2009 11:16 p.m.

    Those chester cheetah games were “hip” back in the day... but you forgot the raisin product videogame, and the diabetic dude game. (Nostalgia of NES) either way cool article.
  • Jputz69 - June 17, 2009 6:38 a.m.

    LOL "we may all soon have BAWLS in our mouths". Great Article
  • oryandymackie - June 16, 2009 8:45 p.m.

    Quite strange...I actually found a carton of milk floating in the nuclear vat on SR2 with Mr T's face on the side. First I'd ever seen, strangely enough. EASTER EGG!
  • zer0_talent - December 22, 2008 8:10 p.m.

    because ur very very smart
  • StreetsOfExtremeAnger - July 25, 2009 2:26 a.m.

    Burger King was also in NFS:MW. Wurd.
  • kodesy - June 21, 2009 7:51 p.m.

    Noooo! "Massive gets your ad in the game"?! That link at the end of the article is the worst thing ever! A company solely based upon putting ads into games? That bites... ...."Taste the rainbow, sucka"...lol, awesome..
  • Hobbs - June 20, 2009 4:41 p.m.

    Lol, I remember playing Cool Spot ages ago, when I was like, 4
  • assassinS17 - June 16, 2009 3:10 a.m.

    I think the skittle of more of an easter egg than a product endorsement, but it's still pretty funny. Great article Charlie.
  • AA95mp - December 14, 2008 3:48 p.m.

    how did i know darkened skye would be on

Showing 1-12 of 12 comments

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