The Top 7... worst product cameos

Greedy, ridiculous and just plain bizarre. We expose the worst in-game ads of all time

Words: on December 6, 2006

Good news. Somewhere out there, somebody finds you absolutely irresistible. They're obsessed with you and want to spend every possible moment with you. They want to be with you when you watch TV, when you go to the movies and when you drive to work. And when you're sitting on the couch in your underwear playing Halo at 3 AM... that's when they want you the most.

Bad news? We're speaking, of course, about advertisers. With your eyes glued to the screen and your purchasing power proven (you bought the game, right?), you've never been such an attentive and attractive customer. Prepare for the pitch, Master Chief.

But before we begin our countdown of the worst sells in videogame history, let's be clear: we don't despise all advertising. (A quick browse around the borders of this article should prove that.) Sometimes it can be subtle. Sometimes it can be clever. Sometimes it can actually enhance the game, making it a more realistic experience.

The following are not those times.



7. Dole Bananas (Super Monkey Ball franchise)

Super Monkey Ball makes the list out of sheer pointlessness. Who pays attention to what kind of banana they're buying? The answer is no one. Banana brand loyalty does not exist. So why would Dole pay to have their stickers digitally plastered on every one of the game's deliciously potassium-packed power-ups?

They didn't... in America, anyway. Which means that the SMB folks kept the logos in there for… what, realism? Does collecting Dole-brand bananas make the player feel more authentically simian? Do monkeys have banana brand loyalty?

See, we warned you this one was pointless.

Related

Platforms:

Xbox 360, PS3, PS2, Wii, PC, PSP, DS, Xbox, GameCube

Topics:

Top 7

12 Comments
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  • ScaryEric

    ScaryEric  - 6 months, 1 week ago  - Report

    The dominos one is called avoid the noid and you had to deliver pizzas to the top floor of n apartment building and avoid the noida and traps because they would ruin your pizza. It was awesome haha
  • GamesRadarCharlieBarratt

    GamesRadarCharlieBarratt  - 11 months, 1 week ago  - Report

    My very first Top 7! Please don't judge too harshly... I was just a child.
  • ballplayer27

    ballplayer27  - 2 years ago  - Report

    Burger king was ALSO in fight night round three. Not that that game didn't have other poorly integrated sponsors, but I did think it was funny that the king could become a trainer. What better person to train a world class athlete than the mascot of a company that specializes in creating the exact opposite of world class athletes (aka fat lazy bastards).
  • Pepsuber88

    Pepsuber88  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    Those chester cheetah games were “hip” back in the day... but you forgot the raisin product videogame, and the diabetic dude game. (Nostalgia of NES) either way cool article.
  • Jputz69

    Jputz69  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    LOL "we may all soon have BAWLS in our mouths".

    Great Article
  • oryandymackie

    oryandymackie  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    Quite strange...I actually found a carton of milk floating in the nuclear vat on SR2 with Mr T's face on the side. First I'd ever seen, strangely enough. EASTER EGG!
  • zer0_talent

    zer0_talent  - 3 years, 1 month ago  - Report

    because ur very very smart
  • StreetsOfExtremeAnger

    StreetsOfExtremeAnger  - 2 years, 6 months ago  - Report

    Burger King was also in NFS:MW. Wurd.
  • kodesy

    kodesy  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    Noooo! "Massive gets your ad in the game"?! That link at the end of the article is the worst thing ever! A company solely based upon putting ads into games? That bites...

    ...."Taste the rainbow, sucka"...lol, awesome..
  • Hobbs

    Hobbs  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    Lol, I remember playing Cool Spot ages ago, when I was like, 4
  • assassinS17

    assassinS17  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    I think the skittle of more of an easter egg than a product endorsement, but it's still pretty funny. Great article Charlie.
  • AA95mp

    AA95mp  - 3 years, 2 months ago  - Report

    how did i know darkened skye would be on
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