The Top 7 - Fruitless Endeavors

Ever slogged away at a game for hours only to find that there's nothing waiting for you at the end of it? Or even worse, there is a reward but it's the gaming equivalent of a plate full of dry crackers after running a marathon?

We too have felt that pain, so here are our top 7 worst rewards in gaming. Starting with one of the best games of last year.

You've secured all 120 stars. You spent hours on Boo in a Box, even managing to get to a part of the level you shouldn't have been able to reach in your search for this hidden star, before you realised a shell would destroy all those mines around the shipwreck. Eureka! Or maybe that was just us...

But what a journey it is - that moving platform in the Battlestation and trying not to fall in Luigi's Purple Coins tested your gaming skills to the limit, but you did it.

And what do you get? A downloadable Super Mario Galaxy DS like the incredibly convincing fake video below would have us believe? No. We get to play the whole game again as Luigi to get the 121st star. You know, its-a-him. Great.

You know what? Though we love the game dearly and still believe it thoroughly deserves its 10/10 rating, we'll give that one a miss for the time being. Maybe in a few months. Or maybe never. Should have left him in the ghost house, if we're honest.

Here's that fake video. This really should have been the reward.

The secret garden
The secret garden is well documented on the internet. The only way to get to it is to climb up the outside of the temple that you start each new journey from. Of course, initially this is impossible as your grip meter is way too small to allow you to scale the vast walls without falling off.

And so you go lizard hunting. Beating Colossi and eating white lizard tails will increase your grip meter until finally you're in a position to attempt it. You fail miserably and so go find some more lizard tails. It's got to be worth it.

After a long, trying journey, you scale the wall. It's real! There's the secret garden. But… there's nothing to do in it. No, wait! There's fruit on the trees! It must be magical fruit. So you have Wanda shove the fruit eagerly into his gob and... it damages his health meter. Permanently.

And that's your reward. Forbidden fruit and what basically amounts to a pretty yet empty garden. How fortunate the rest of the game is so perfect – we can just about excuse this disappointment. Back to that Phalanx battle, then…


Top 7


  • jamie-williams - January 29, 2012 1:43 p.m.

    In Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door, when you beat the game, you get something really worth the effort (ON OPPOSITE DAY!): 1xp point. I am not telling a lie. Go look it up and see the if there are any WTF moments on YouTube.
  • CrazyPhish - October 1, 2010 4:45 a.m.

    I think it was Katamari 2 that you could spend forever collecting 1 million roses in one of the levels and you didn't get anything for it.
  • ombranox - September 29, 2010 1:07 a.m.

    Uhh... It took me like, 15 hours to beat the elite four.
  • unholychazer - September 28, 2010 3:16 a.m.

    493 pokemon? I didn't think anyone actually bothered, maybe it wouldn't be so bad if half of them didn't require events that few of us actually bother with, so for the rest of us, there's action replay
  • PhantomRose96 - January 7, 2010 11:05 p.m.

    I've been playing Pearl for years, trying to complete the pokedex. I've caught/evolved every pokemon available in the sinnoh region (which took long enough, especially for pokemon that evolve at a ridiculously high level.) I've "migrated" about a million from fire red and traded with my brother for pokemon from sapphire. I still have no idea where to find half the legendaries (which are the only pokemon I have left to obtain.) Then I read this article and wonder why I'm wasting my life... which doesn't mean I'll be able to stop.
  • poplin - November 21, 2009 9:20 p.m.

    I'd like to nominate blast corps to this list. One of the best yet most stupidly hard games on the n64, you work your ass off to get gold medals on everything, and then you unlock the planets. you then have to get golds on each of the planets, each progressively more difficult. Once you do that, the game says "now go for platinum".... stopped playing after that message and never looked back
  • slymaster - October 26, 2008 7:18 p.m.

    it only took me one day to beat the elite 4 and i got it the day it came out. started the next day and beat it around 11:00 pm never got complete pokedex (who realy does not like they give you any thing)
  • msfootball66 - October 27, 2008 1:51 a.m.

    haha its called cheats when i was little i got pokemon red and i just used cheats but im not really sure wat diamend and pearl are
  • purpleshirt - October 21, 2008 2:30 a.m.

    my friend used hax to fill his pokedex and i was like siiiick now i can see what proffsor oak says in eternia city good job!, im happy now go fuck off was pretty much the gist of it so im happy i decided not to sell my soul to that guy on the internet who promised me arceus in return. really happy
  • Manny-Faces - October 21, 2008 12:25 a.m.

    nice colossos vid i still need to beat it lol :D
  • CuddlyBomber - October 20, 2008 10:16 p.m.

    God DAMN that Luigi! The number of times I tried to get that star are... well... I lost count!
  • elilupe - April 22, 2009 4:04 p.m.

    I thought the ending of Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts was pretty terrible. It made you finish that painfully annoying Grunty battle, and then only gave you a car that looks like banjos head. It doesnt even handle that well. Couldnt they have given you a super cool, powerful weapon that could go extremely fast and could handle perfectly?
  • legory - May 28, 2009 2:39 a.m.

    80 Hours to beat Pokemon D/P? Are you kidding me? Try less than 24. I filled my Pokedex in roughly that time. No Action Replay.
  • Kerfluffle - February 24, 2009 8:52 p.m.

    Hmmmmmmmmm..... Pokemon used to be about gettin em all when I was a kid. Now it's about the most powerful team for me. It doesn't matter anymore because all my friends hack now anyway, and they dont think its cheating. (EX. "I just found those 6 Shaymins in a patch of grass!)

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