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It’s a film about acerbic stand-up comics, so how does the Apatow camp decide to advertise it? With this weird, slightly saccharine shot that’d make us cringe if we saw it on someone’s Facebook, let alone at our local bus stop.
Props for making Seth Rogen look even uglier than usual, though.
Okay, at first glance this might look like the best poster ever made – it does contain an arse in pants, after all. But that’s the problem.
We might glance up a bit to see that weird looking kid in the mirror, we may even glance down a bit to see what the film’s called, but we won’t linger on either long enough to retain the information. We’re too busy getting back to the arse. In pants. Brilliant.
Face your fear, says the tagline. We’re not afraid of ladies who look like half-eaten Easter eggs, we reply.
Every single aspect of this one is wrong. Lohan appears to be glowing like some sort of rehab Jesus, the tag-line is utter gibberish and advertisers take note, if you want us to think your wacky pregnancy comedy is worth seeing, you probably shouldn't remind us of The Hottie & The Nottie poster.
So, who is that? Natalie Portman gone blonde? Anna Faris gone slim? Or just some unknown actress no-one cares about?
If only we could see her face properly. Or even read the name above the title.
Hey, I wonder what happened to Kate Bosworth. She hasn’t been in anything for ages. We used to like her.
If you’ve decided that museum architecture should be given more focus than your two leads, you’re probably the sort of person who enjoys inducing headaches with your poster art. Go you.
He’s Just Not That Into You
This film contains a Scarlett Johannson nude scene. We really should try and find a way of working her into the poster. What do you mean we’ve got five minutes to finish it?
Okay, well, we’ll knock a basic image up in photoshop in a second, but let’s make sure we get her name on there at least.
But, you know, it wouldn’t be fair to put her name first, just because she’s the biggest star in this thing. We should do it in alphabetical order or something.
That way people will have to get past Kevin Connolly and Gennifer Goodwin before they get to her name and remember ‘Oh, this is the film with the Scarlett Johannson nude scene. I gotta see this!’
Nothing But The Truth
Ace, a poster you can’t look at for more than 3 seconds without feeling drunk. Seriously, this thing’s a gateway drug to Nurofen, not a film ad. Stick it on a billboard and start counting the car crashes.
The Poughkeepsie Tapes
How many times do we have to tell you poster people? It’s 1990s, not 1990’s. And if the grammatical error wasn’t bad enough, the picture of a bunch of VHS tapes dumped on a table is about as exciting as the last time we cleared out our loft.
According to the source material, this is an edgy flick set in ’83 LA featuring movie executives, rock stars and a vampire.
According to the poster, it’s a remake of Mannequin. Did you know that The Informers stars the insanely beautiful Amber Heard? Not if all you’ve seen is this rubbish ad.
We can’t decide which grosses us out more – the sight of some kid with a stripper’s knickers in his gob, or the fact that Catherine Zeta Jones’ face looks like something out of the third act of Brian Yuzna’s Society. Either way, we’ll be avoiding this one like Michael Douglas dodges coffins.
WTF. Seriously. Just WTF.
Race To Witch Mountain
Wow, cool! Helicopters! A spaceship! And… a taxi cab?! This has got to be the most unfair race in the world! And why are they racing to Witch Mountain, anyway? Is the prize Dwayne Johnson’s massive floating head? Or the Siamese twins that appear to be growing out of his ear? WE NEED ANSWERS!
Angels & Demons
Yawn. What is this, Daredevil 2? Next!
Woah, way to go poster dudes. You’ve managed to make Gwyneth Paltrow look puffy and ugly. This isn’t Shallow Hal 2, you know.
Ahhhhhhh! What’s that growing out from under Kate Hudson’s hair?! And where have Anne Hathaway’s breasts gone?! What kind of twisted body horror is this?!
Ah, the laziest of all the film poster techniques. Putting the title into a fancy font and hoping it’s enough to make us want to see the movie. Word to the wise – it’s not.
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