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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time Re-Shelled review

Troubled
AT A GLANCE
  • Full of nostalgia
  • Lots of beating-up
  • Just like you remember - almost
  • Utterly shallow
  • New graphics are kinda worse
  • Combat feels vaporous and indistinct

The first Turtles game hit Live back in 2007 and became one of the biggest sellers on the Marketplace. It was, of course, rubbish. Ubisoft are gambling on the same nostalgia-fuelled sales for their 3D remake of its sequel, Turtles in Time. Which is, of course, also rubbish. Even the critics of the day were guarded in their praise for the Turtles games. Turtles in Time was half-shelled mediocrity back in 1991 and no polygonal makeover can disguise a game near-identical to the original – a straight trek through hordes of identical chumps, hacked through with a single button press.

In the remake, those chumps are 3D, but the new lick of paint has made every strike even more vaporous and indistinct. It’s an 18-year-old 2D game dragged into the 3D space whether it likes it or not, and it doesn’t like it one bit. In a bracket it shares with Final Fight, Streets of Rage, and the old Simpsons coin-op, Turtles in Time is distinguished by its utter mindlessness and resistance to any kind of strategy; a game of will over skill.

Aug 10, 2009

More Info

Release date: Aug 05 2009 - Xbox 360
Sep 10 2009 - PS3 (US)
Aug 05 2009 - Xbox 360
Sep 10 2009 - PS3 (UK)
Available Platforms: Xbox 360, PS3
Genre: Arcade
Published by: Ubisoft
Developed by: Konami
ESRB Rating:
Everyone 10+: Cartoon Violence
PEGI Rating:
12+

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16 comments

  • SiFiLuSBLaCK - August 14, 2009 4:48 p.m.

    Although this is a wretched review, so is the game. TMNT: 1989 Arcade would've been worthier of my 800pts than this due to nostalgia alone. The only reason TMNT:TITR cost so much was because of the updated graphics, which I could've done without.
  • zer0_cool16 - August 11, 2009 2:06 p.m.

    Oh my! Did you just write this using your blackberry while on coffee break or taking a dump??? When I was young I used to "mindlessly" hack and slash through this game and ENJOYED it! Sometimes when you put too much effor in the story and gameplay you actually forget that there are people who just enjoy beating the crap out of mindless numbers of enemies. You didn't even imagine how kids these days would love to have a taste of the early 90's games. Tsk tsk. Such a poor review... or should we say you were just trying to meet your review quota for the week.
  • TRAVthe3RD - August 11, 2009 1:48 p.m.

    maybe this guys pissed cuz theres no battletoads on live arcade?? lol i agree this review was uber harsh i enjoyed wif dameon angells alot more..
  • Dameon Angell - August 11, 2009 9:13 a.m.

    Lmao. You coulda wrote "I don't like it, because I don't." and got the same reaction. Honestly .... ...... .... HONESTLY?! If the price is at 800 MS Pts for this I'd rate it a 7/10, 6.5 if possible. The graphical upgrade is something that I wish they had the option to change back to "Classic" mode on the fly like R-Type Dimensions. I don't mind it, but the entire time I wish I had something to look back to for nostalgia's sake. For what it is though, it's cartoony and just right for the feel of the title. The gameplay is more of a hit and miss. Depending on what your tastes are going into this, you're gonna come out with a couple of feelings. You're gonna find the gameplay shallow and repetitive if you're looking for something more robust, like Castle Crashers. But, if you go into the game with the mindset that it is what it is, you'll enjoy mindless brawling much more. I can't give this game an unqualified "buy" though, because if you're going to be buying this as a single player experience, you will feel sorely robbed. This game is all about the multiplayer and kicking the crap out of Foot Soldiers as your favorite Turtle with 3 other friends. Talking smack and shooting the shit makes this game more of a fun, light social game than anything else. If you're still on the fence, it's not the most beautiful woman on the dance floor, and she's old enough to be your mom, but if you give her a chance, she can put out for you and your 3 closest friends to give you a fun prom night to remember. If she has the balls to charge more than 800 pts though, or you have no friends, fuck it. 7/10 There's your review, you can fire this lazy wanker who wrote this crap. He obviously doesn't enjoy his job.
  • waynski1457 - August 11, 2009 6:19 a.m.

    Joke review? Seriously, what the hell was that? Might as well have wrote, "I didn't like the original, everyone who did is/was an idiot, and this new one will do nothing to change that." Even name-dropping other beat-um-ups doesn't dissuade the fact that you're just one of the only people disappointed from the get-go that you had to review it. FD: My 360's away and I haven't even played the remake yet. Still, there's no reason a copy-paste bashing from a mag that really doesn't even list real complaints beyond, "It's garbage and always has been," is warranted. Take this one down and do it right. I don't care if it's a ten-page essay on this game's encapsulation of every single problem that's ever plagued the genre ever, and given a zero based on the inability to understand how anyone could enjoy it. It's just disappointing to see one of my favorite sites just throw journalistic integrity into the cesspool in order to "get it over with." /rant
  • Dameon Angell - August 13, 2009 6:37 a.m.

    The Official Ninja Turtles Drinking Game: Take A shot if.... - You die - You hear "cowabunga" You take 2 shots if.... - You accidentally hit the guide/ps button You make everyone else take a shot if... - You pick up a health item - You get the last hit on the boss add your own if you wish
  • Darthwaluigi - August 12, 2009 5:13 p.m.

    I bouught this and agree with Angell 100%. its terrible single player (trust me, i've tried), but multiplayer is a blast to play. If you have 3 other people to play with on the couch, go for it!
  • Dameon Angell - August 12, 2009 7:15 a.m.

    It wasn't a stab at GR so much as a Stab at whoever hired this guy in the first place. Reviewing games sucks when you have to play something you don't like, but this review came across like an 8 year old with a temper tantrum and a word quota. If GamesRadar wants someone to review crappy games nobody wants to play, I'm their man. Peace
  • waynski1457 - August 12, 2009 5:27 a.m.

    @Amnesiac You bet I realized that. It's a lot of the reason that I'm so disappointed in it.
  • Amnesiac - August 11, 2009 8:32 p.m.

    Has no one realized that this is copy-pasted from a magazine and not an in-house review? They CAN'T fire anyone over it. Quit being melodramatic. Yes the review sucks, but blame it on the magazine, not GR.
  • bloodgusher - August 11, 2009 8:27 p.m.

    Shallow,... oh no. A shallow arcade game? NEVER heard of that before. How horrible. The new graphics are really nice. Combat is exactly the way it was in the arcade. That's the whole point. You ever hear of mindless nostalgic fun? So,.. you missed the point of this whole concept of "retro-arcade" gaming. Rubbish rubbish rubbish rubbish is this review.
  • drprofessor - August 11, 2009 8:24 p.m.

    Slogging through the TMNT Arcade game again was one of the most boring 15 minutes I've had recently. It was a slap in the face that sometimes nostalgia goggles can be blinding. It made me not even interested in this remake of TMNT:TIT. Well the graphics didnt help either. I actually had more fun playing through Turtles 3 on NES again. *shrug*
  • MitsuharuSan - August 11, 2009 3:03 p.m.

    I'm not saying that this review was actually good, but I heard more "not so nice things" about this game, wich is a shame. I used to play this in my old SNES (bought a new one since) a good 10+ years ago when I was a kid and I just couldn't get enough of it.
  • Dameon Angell - August 11, 2009 9:15 a.m.

    oh right... + Old school flair + Easy to pick up and play + Multiplayer Drinking Games - Boring Single Player - Repetitive - If more than 800, overpriced.
  • rybell - August 11, 2009 3:41 a.m.

    very sad to see such a low review score. as a kid around 7 years old this was one of my favorite games to play. my friend would come over and we'd play for hours until we finally beat the game. in fact just today i downloaded an snes emulater and played through the game and i still find it very enjoyable
  • moonwalk_mafia - August 11, 2009 2:09 a.m.

    Such a short review? I usually enjoy the reviews on this site, especially Mikel's, but this is a terrible example of a review. You hardly give any examples of why it's so terrible. All you mention is it takes little strategy, but the same could be said for most beat-em-ups. For shame, GR, for shame

Showing 1-16 of 16 comments

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