PES 2009: 23 weird and wonderful goals

We play a lot of PES. Hell, with the amount of man hours we’ve wasted playing it at lunchtime we’re pretty sure we could have cured world hunger, cracked the credit crunch and figured out how to fix the game’s wretched, pan-handed keepers. During that time we’ve scored a shedload of goals and clogged up a lot of space on our hard-drive by never once watching them again.

But with the new Premier League football season about to kick off tomorrow, we thought it would be a good time to finally put them to some use. So below you’ll find a few videos of all the best goals we've scored in PES 2009. Some are great, some fortunate and others seem to have pretty much broken the game on their way into the onion bag.


The only stringent qualifying factor the following selection of goals had to pass was 'making us shout a bit loud'.


The defensive f*ck-ups so ghastly, we’re pretty sure PES’ defensive code just gave up in the penalty box and decided to make a goal out of black magic and goalkeepers’ nightmares.


  • Frexerik - August 16, 2009 8:28 p.m.

    *YAWN* i dont like footy/football/soccer...
  • GoldenMe - August 14, 2009 8:27 p.m.

    Soccer. Nuff' said.
  • stikmanrp - August 14, 2009 7:45 p.m.

    Fulham in a champions league game (in the last video)? Only in video games...
  • AndyGiff93 - August 14, 2009 7:24 p.m.

    Man I love PES...I wish I could get some of my replay's on here but I don't really have any way of doing it :(
  • skyline19 - August 14, 2009 11:36 a.m.

    The reason I don't play PES anymore is because of those howlers happening way too often, makes me want to punch a baby...
  • srbwpn - August 14, 2009 10:57 a.m.

    metalgatesolid = fail. FIFA butt plugs pes. compare the graphics and gameplay and content and fifa is the clear winner. anyone up for some manchester red vs merseyside blue? ha you guys dont even have licenses
  • metalgatesolid - August 14, 2009 10 a.m.

    The depressing thing about the wierd goals is that they become common place in the world of PES. But that contributes to the game. Its what shows Fifa and PES are different. Love PES and always will. PES kicks Fifa into ordbit.
  • gtakiller7 - August 14, 2009 9:12 a.m.

    fifa rules
  • thomashalpenny - August 14, 2009 8:57 a.m.

    i hate pes and first
  • moo96 - August 15, 2009 1:15 p.m.

    fifa is well better
  • JohnnyMaverik - August 15, 2009 3:49 a.m.

    > CARLINNIT - 3 hours 38 minutes ago "what he said" Seconded. I used to be a FIFA player right up until trying PES 2008, and realised that PES in terms of gameplay is just plane better. Sure Fifa might look better, but I always managed to find ways of a near certain goal when playing, e.g., i knew if I passed the ball there the defender would move to block me, through ball to the striker, low placed shot to far bottom corner of the goal and a 90% chance of another one on the tally. Where as in pes while you will score similarish goals quite often, none two will ever go down quite the same. Sure there are issues but there are issues in FIFA aswell, neither game has won but neither has lost yet. Enjoyed the vids, especially the purist and fancy footwork cuz thats how I play :D... well... when I'm doing well that is. Come to think of if isn't that how every1 plays? Does any1 actually go defencive and play a long ball game in pes? I've never seen any1 do it thats for sure...
  • CARLINNIT - August 14, 2009 11:58 p.m.

    I think I speak for many when I say that I've loved PES since the early days. FIFA had nothing on it. Absolutely nothing! But for real... FIFA 09 took the latest PES to school and back. Although, it still lacks the sponteneity seen by PES in these videos. You'd never score half of those goals in FIFA. It needs some freedom... and I think from what I've heard of the 360 dribbling, that should go a long way to helping FIFA dominate for another few years...
  • The_Lurcher - August 14, 2009 8:42 p.m.

    Football Nuff' said and no, I do mean football not football football... I'll shutup now
  • Tomsta666 - August 14, 2009 6:58 p.m.

    Pro Evo all day long!! Nice to see an article acknowledging it tbh. Since most of the faithfull sold out and became FIFA whores. I've been loyal since the ISS days, and while I accept that FIFA has upped it's game It's still feels like one big advert. The flight of the ball in FIFA is like one of those plastic balls you buy at the seaside for a quid. Peter Moore can go stick it, SEABASS FOR LIFE YO!! Do your worst FIFA whores, you can't tell me anything I havent already heard...
  • crumbdunky - August 14, 2009 6:19 p.m.

    The only recent Fifa/PES worth playing, imo, is the Wii iteration of the current Pro Evo. Apart from the Wii game there's still the same problems and gameplay quirks, just to a lesser extent, that there was after the last jump forwards that came over PES3-4. Since then Konami have stalled with the HD games while Fifa has caught up. Thing is none of them ever hooked me the way Sensi did even if it's the simplest game series ever to attempt football. I also NEVER found anyone who could live with my Sensible Soccer skills. No matter what version or what platform I was unstoppable-little did I realise that it was MY game and I'd forever suck at everything else because of it draining ALL my talent. Pretty daft when there's now only me in the world that even cares let alone fires up the Amiga for some old school!
  • sgloomy - August 14, 2009 5:52 p.m.

    some of these goals are ridiculous but quite a few of them i've seen happen in actual games!!!!
  • MW3M - August 14, 2009 1:17 p.m.

    PES was my first love. But she aged poorly, things started to sag and she lost her ravenous libido. Then came along FIFA 09 with golden hair, sparkling eyes and a mouth that can suck a golfball through a hosepipe. Fifa all the way!
  • jmohan - August 14, 2009 12:51 p.m.

    Always loved PES. ALways will. (Especially as a wii only gamer)
  • Ninjamatt5 - August 14, 2009 12:06 p.m.

    PES 09 on that is a game. But Fifa on PS3 all the way. I don't even like football that much.

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