OXM Breakdown explains why sex in games is horrific. Does so while being both horrific and sexy

May contain weaponised dildos

Video game sex is not pleasant. It never has been, it never will be. You're either looking at jagged rutting zombies rhythmically banging away with all the warmth and sensuality of the granite rock face they look to be carved out of, or you get a tacky fade-to-black and a soundtrack right out of a Carry On film. Or some nightmarish combination of the two.

The best way of dealing with this most foul of video game issues? By taking a good long hard look at its greasy folds with four minutes of in-depth video.

It's bound to be fine.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Long-time GR+ writer Dave has been gaming with immense dedication ever since he failed dismally at some '80s arcade racer on a childhood day at the seaside (due to being too small to reach the controls without help). These days he's an enigmatic blend of beard-stroking narrative discussion and hard-hitting Psycho Crushers.
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