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OXM Breakdown explains why sex in games is horrific. Does so while being both horrific and sexy

Video game sex is not pleasant. It never has been, it never will be. You're either looking at jagged rutting zombies rhythmically banging away with all the warmth and sensuality of the granite rock face they look to be carved out of, or you get a tacky fade-to-black and a soundtrack right out of a Carry On film. Or some nightmarish combination of the two.

The best way of dealing with this most foul of video game issues? By taking a good long hard look at its greasy folds with four minutes of in-depth video.

It's bound to be fine.

 

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5 comments

  • gridpig - February 8, 2012 7:22 p.m.

    The thing that stood out the most in this is the Resident Evil trailer for N3DS... why is Columbo in Resident Evil? That's weird.
  • Darkhawk - February 6, 2012 12:05 p.m.

    Until we have actual meaningful attempts at dramatic story-telling (I'm looking at you, David Cage) sex is never going to be anything but absurd. I guess video games are like 80s movies, then.
  • inkyspot - February 6, 2012 9:17 a.m.

    Sex in games or nudity... Sex in itself could be funny, I can't imagine how they can make it story driven to the point where it would become a fun implimentation in a game. I suppose Rockstar did it with the prostitute and rocking car thing that gave the guy health... that was funny and illogical (Prostitutes - STD's Sex -Drains energy but feels good) Nudity, is a different story (Saints Row, that naked dude from GTA 4, and I am sure there are others). So if a face hugger gets on your face sticks something in your mouth and then after a while, a baby alien pops out your gut... I guess that's alien sex.
  • DannyMB - February 6, 2012 8:39 a.m.

    I think someones trying a bit too hard to be Charlie Brooker... However the message of the video is spot on. No ones figured out a good way to do sex in games, so dont bother. Im ok with that.
  • 24Castle - February 6, 2012 9:02 a.m.

    I would love to be Charlie Brooker, because then I'd be married to Konnie Huq!

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