My Pokemon Ranch - WiiWare review

We often find ourselves staring mournfully at our 2D Pokemon in Diamond and Pearl, wishing they’d sprout that third dimension. So imagine our beaming faces as My Pokemon Ranch loaded up. Here, as in the GameCube’s Pokemon Box, is a chance to free your ’Mon from the confines of a DS cart and let them loose on Wii, all under the watchful eye of Ranch owner Hayley.

Alas, somewhere between DS and Wii, the Pokemon have been turned into origami. They’re so jerkily angular they appear to be in pain as they gambol around. We were also transfixed by Hayley’s nose – a black triangle that makes it look like there’s a gaping hole in the middle of her face. Was she savaged by a Larvitar?

If you don’t have Diamond or Pearl, the game gives you six Pokemon to start with, adding a further monster to your brood every day you ‘play’ the game. We used the inverted commas there, because this isn’t a game as such. Once you’ve loaded up your Pokemon, there’s not a lot you can do with them. You can take photos and send them to a mate’s Wii, or organise a parade where your ’Mon troop past as C64-o-vision tickertape rains down. Friends can add Pokemon to your collection as well – but monsters can only be downloaded back into the cart they came from, which spoils plans to create an Insta-Pokedex in Diamond/Pearl. You can also eventually unlock toys for your ‘Mon to play with, but the initial boredom of just watching your monsters in a field is likely to be a turn-off.

Jul 8, 2008