Daxter spends much of the opening cutscene of Jak II cowering in fear and shrieking in a womanly manner, until the opportunity to run away presents itself. At which point, he abandons his “best friend” to two years of torture and experimentation at the hands of Baron Praxis.
Above: Proof that Daxter is a worthless sidekick (4:25)
It’s later revealed in Daxter’s PSP game that he was looking for a way to free Jak, but couldn’t find him so gave up and took to bragging about his courageous struggles in the local bar. This promptly landed him a job as an exterminator, through which he accidentally discovers where Jak is being held. To Daxter’s credit, he at least feels guilty enough to stage a rescue.
The Prophets –Halo series
Like most theocratic fundamentalists, the Covenant’s Prophets are cowardice incarnate. Just look at them, perched on their hover-thrones, hiding behind thuggish guards and opaque liturgies while plotting the destruction of the known universe in fits of pious ecstasy. They’re self serving and manipulative, content to drape their shameless power grab in the robes of religious prophecy. Which makes it all the more satisfying when they finally get their comeuppance.
Above: Truth and Mercy work out a plan fraught with deception and cruelty
Captain Qwark – Ratchet & Clank series
The hero business is more about self-promotion than actual courage. Just ask Captain Qwark, the shameless publicity whore from the Ratchet & Clank universe.
Above: Qwark poop lulz
Captain Qwark certainly has the savior-of-the-universe swagger, but those who know his true character are not fooled by his bombastic stage presence. To the writers’ credit, Qwark’s paroxysmal alternations of vanity and cowardice are played for many belly laughs throughout the series.
Zeke Dunbar– InFamous
Sacrificing innocent lives in the pursuit of personal gain is a sure sign of cowardice. Zeke Dunbar spends much of InFamous as ally and best friend to leading man Cole MacGrath, until jealousy gets the better of him. Envy of Cole’s powers drive him to set off a device that has the potential to kill thousands of people, and when that fails he takes up with the lead villain. Before all is said and done, he ineffectually tries to redeem himself during the final boss fight. Purportedly, he’ll be back to helping Cole and trying to work off his karmic debt in the sequel. But can he win back Cole’s trust??
Above: Would you trust this man?
Got a favorite videogame coward? Tell us about him (or her) in the comments!
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