Most cowardly cowards in gaming

Daxter - Jak & Daxter series

Daxter spends much of the opening cutscene of Jak II cowering in fear and shrieking in a womanly manner, until the opportunity to run away presents itself. At which point, he abandons his “best friend” to two years of torture and experimentation at the hands of Baron Praxis.

Above: Proof that Daxter is a worthless sidekick (4:25)

It’s later revealed in Daxter’s PSP game that he was looking for a way to free Jak, but couldn’t find him so gave up and took to bragging about his courageous struggles in the local bar. This promptly landed him a job as an exterminator, through which he accidentally discovers where Jak is being held. To Daxter’s credit, he at least feels guilty enough to stage a rescue.  

The Prophets –Halo series

Like most theocratic fundamentalists, the Covenant’s Prophets are cowardice incarnate. Just look at them, perched on their hover-thrones, hiding behind thuggish guards and opaque liturgies while plotting the destruction of the known universe in fits of pious ecstasy. They’re self serving and manipulative, content to drape their shameless power grab in the robes of religious prophecy. Which makes it all the more satisfying when they finally get their comeuppance.

Above: Truth and Mercy work out a plan fraught with deception and cruelty

Captain Qwark – Ratchet & Clank series

The hero business is more about self-promotion than actual courage. Just ask Captain Qwark, the shameless publicity whore from the Ratchet & Clank universe.

Above: Qwark poop lulz

Captain Qwark certainly has the savior-of-the-universe swagger, but those who know his true character are not fooled by his bombastic stage presence. To the writers’ credit, Qwark’s paroxysmal alternations of vanity and cowardice are played for many belly laughs throughout the series.

Zeke Dunbar– InFamous

Sacrificing innocent lives in the pursuit of personal gain is a sure sign of cowardice. Zeke Dunbar spends much of InFamous as ally and best friend to leading man Cole MacGrath, until jealousy gets the better of him. Envy of Cole’s powers drive him to set off a device that has the potential to kill thousands of people, and when that fails he takes up with the lead villain. Before all is said and done, he ineffectually tries to redeem himself during the final boss fight. Purportedly, he’ll be back to helping Cole and trying to work off his karmic debt in the sequel. But can he win back Cole’s trust??

Above: Would you trust this man? 

Got a favorite videogame coward? Tell us about him (or her) in the comments!

July 20, 2010

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  • AznNguyen72 - August 5, 2010 8:37 a.m.

    Why hasn't anyone mentioned Hope from Final Fantasy 13? Seriously he whines and cries in almost every cut scene he's in!
  • Craza - July 23, 2010 7:18 a.m.

    Halo's Prophets weren't all that cowardly. Hell, you even had a boss fight with one of them. Besides, LOOK AT THEM, they're like.....5000 years old! Of course they don't want to fight the Master Chief! Haha.
  • ericn67 - July 22, 2010 6 p.m.

    what about roman off of gta he is a coward he hides in dust bins
  • gilgamesh310 - July 21, 2010 7:53 p.m.

    I just missed tour comment phoenix_wings. U made a similar point to me.
  • gilgamesh310 - July 21, 2010 7:51 p.m.

    An interseting article but you were clearly wrong about Irvine as can even be seen by the video. Irvine did eventually take the shot and Edea deflects the bullet with her powers, so it wouldn't have mattered either way. Besides even if he did kill her we would only have to endure one less disk, considering Edea was onlt a puppet to Ultmecia all along would would latter have to be dealt with as well as Adel.
  • ryno - July 21, 2010 7:34 p.m.

    where the hell is Brad vikers from resident evil
  • taterboob - July 21, 2010 6:45 p.m.

    @RazielArcanum Hey now, Zidane wasn't.
  • EdDeRs1 - July 21, 2010 4:01 p.m.

    god the evil ending of fallout 3 is so much of a cowards way out, admitedly i sent Fawks in as he was immune to radiation and i didnt relise it would explode...
  • Skykid - July 21, 2010 3:45 p.m.

    Here is what Al-Asad does to you: Gives you the middle finger (violent regime change), then nukes you because he doesn't have the guts to kill you himself. Give Price some plus points for ridding the gaming world of that d-bag with a shot to the head. At least Shepard in MW2 had the guts to stab his own international task force members in the back himself. Give that guy plus point for being able to do the dirty work himself. Al-Asad take note in your dark corner in Hell.
  • babyhenchy1 - July 21, 2010 1:29 p.m.

    Otacon gets too much crap for that encounter with the ninja. Yes he pissed his pants, but so would I. Solid Snake didn't, but he's f&*king Snake.
  • Clovin64 - July 21, 2010 11:56 a.m.

    Yes, blame Irvine. Because of him we had to endure three more discs of Squall's extreme emo-ness.
  • philipshaw - July 21, 2010 11:46 a.m.

    Great article and I knew Captain Qwark would be in here
  • FauxFurry - July 21, 2010 10:04 a.m.

    I'd say that Otacon's little sister Emma has him beat in terms of sheer cowardice. At least Hal comes through in the end, Emma just gets ended. I guess it ran in the blood before it ran out all over the floor. Still,Lionel Starkweather from Manhunt makes her look like Samus Aran by comparisson.
  • aJAWSOMEocelot - July 21, 2010 9:33 a.m.

    Come on, lay off of Otacon, anyone would piss themselves if an insane cyborg-ninja attacked you and you had no weapons or mortal arts training!
  • theemporer - July 21, 2010 6:09 a.m.

    "Would you trust this man" No, I would repeatedly stab this man. Wih lightening. Oh wait, that's not allowed.
  • phoenix_wings - July 21, 2010 5:41 a.m.

    But when Irvine finally did shoot, it turned out that there was a forcefield around Edea, right? So if he would have shot her first, wouldn't the forcefield deflect the bullet? Yeah, FF8 was an alright game, but it would have been better if it were minus 2 discs there.....
  • MadMan - July 21, 2010 4:19 a.m.

    I think Roman Bellic is a coward.
  • Ganonpork - July 21, 2010 3:47 a.m.

    @Raziel, wat about snow sazh of ff13? they werent wusses, hope was tho.
  • Spacegrass - July 21, 2010 2:41 a.m.

    I really enjoyed Infamous for the most part, but the characters were horrible, and Zeke isn't even the worst one (Cole's girlfriend is even less likable than he is). With friends like those, who needs enemies? Also, what does Zeke even do for a living? No one ever mentions him having a job, where does he get his money? Wait, are those kneepads... OH GOD NO WHERE'S THE FRICKIN BRAIN BLEACH?
  • 2dboy - July 21, 2010 2:25 a.m.

    Every game with a regenerative health system........well not everyone, but many of them.

Showing 1-20 of 37 comments

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