Hey all you GamesRadar-reading moms! How many times have your kids begged you to buy them that new hot game? Even after you dumped a month’s worth of grocery money on that white plastic box called a Wii and something called a Zelda, they never stop pleading for stuff. And think of how much more you’ll have to buy - cars, clothes, college…
And suddenly you fantasize about stabbing the Wiimote through the necks of those small, squeaking product-whores. And if you haven't, trust us that we have. It's not that we're homicidal, but do you have any idea how annoying the way your kids act in public is to single adults?
Well stop dreaming and start killing, because Armageddon for the Wii is the simplest and quickest way for you to maim your children. The Wiimote controls are simple – eight easy forearm wiggles let you perform every special and fatality, and logic groups similar techniques under universal arm swinging tactics.
Whip the ‘mote left then right to vomit fire, express-mail missiles, and send get-over-here spears. Lash it up then down for teleport tricks and smash-mash stomps. Gyrate in half-circle rotations for whirling whammies. And to rip heads off? Lunge towards the screen to grab the cranium, and twitch upwards to wrench it away.