If GTA was taught in schools

It seems Hell has just frozen over as the humble porker has mastered the power of flight. Well, that's what you'd think with the news that Grand Theft Auto IV is now being used to steer school kids away from violence in a study in England. Which got us thinking: how wrong would it be if they taught GTA life lessons in schools? Imagine Niko teaching you how to jack an old woman's car in night class or gym lessons with Bruice at community college. Well, imagine no more, because we've just come up with a set of morally reprehensible classes that would only see the light of day in the most sociopathic schoolteacher’s mind.

Car Jacking 101

Learn the intricacies of stealing other people’s rides, as Mr. Bellic tutors a riveting three week course that’ll turn you into ride-jacking, hotwiring pro.

Above: Who needs algebra and modern studies when Niko’s class
gives you all the practical skills you need to survive?

Planning your first bank robbery

Students will embark on an intensive eight week programme that will school them in the fine art of the bank heist. From weapons training, hostage taking to post caper money laundering; Mr. McReary has you covered. And with over two semi successful heists to his name, your robbery will almost definitely not become horribly botched... probably.

Above: Admittedly, Mr. McReary's bank jobs often involve more throwing up beer in the toilet than they do actual stealing money

Gym class/mastering your roid rage

Tired of always getting picked last for sports? Wish you could bulk up? Don't fret. Liberty City Academy has the perfect class for you. A special gym session with Professor Kibbutz, pupils will learn the art of karate, self-esteem and how to totally pump up thier guns like bouncy castles. Oh, and rumours of enforced bullshark steroid injections are definitely not true. No, definitely no truth there.

Above: You to can soon look like this after Brucie's intensive 'completely natural' workout regime


Showing 1-20 of 23 comments

Join the Discussion
Add a comment (HTML tags are not allowed.)
Characters remaining: 5000