How wet will Wet make you get?

Lady assassin game measured for moistness

Note: Wet doesn't have anything to do with actual liquid wetness. It's mostly about a hot assassinette that likes jumping about and killing bad guys. Wet is scheduled for release on PS3 and 360, Fall 2009.

Wet heroine and ultimate fantasy woman. Hot. Sexy. Strong. Good with weapons. Is flexible. Wears tattoos. One of her favourite things is killing bad men. We saw her torch a guy doused in gasoline without so much as batting one of her perfectly textured lashes. She's a badass with a nice ass.

Check her out:

Much to our dismay, Bethesda did go to great lengths to explain that Rubi isn't some cynical sexy gimmick. She won't be objectified or exploited for the sake of mere titillation or juvenile thrills. So there's not going to be any bikini costume changes or naughty spank-her-bottom mini-games. Shame.

How wet did we get? Some involuntary salivation and subsequent build-up of mouth fluids.

There's lots and lots of this. The pistols Rubi dual-wields have an infinite supply of ammo and never ever need reloading. So you can just keep killing men with gay abandon for as long as there are men on the screen that need killing. Other weapons will include shotguns, sub-machine guns and a crossbow that fires exploding rounds. These will all have a finite supply of munitions.

And then there's Rubi's big sword. Ideal for slicing off limbs and sticking through guts when the fighting gets a little more intimate and cosy.

Prolonged bouts of linked together killing is rewarded with points and style multipliers. Points can be used to upgrade weapons, but definitely won't be used to buy Rubi an alternate bikini costume. We'll say it again. Shame.

How wet did we get? A cold clamminess on the palms of our hands. Killing always makes our hands clammy.

It's been around a bit, but we still love us some bullet time. And Wet looks like one big huge slow-motion orgy of fancy-looking killing. Rubi does a lot of running up walls, back-flipping, sliding about on her knees and so on. And every time she engages in some wild act of acrobatica, slow-mo automatically kicks in.

Better still, there's no limit to how long it can be activated for. The motion will stay slow for as long as Rubi keeps chaining moves together. And when moving in the manner of diminished velocity, Rubi can also target two enemies simultaneously with her pistols. Half the speed. Double the kill.

How wet did we get? A noticeable lubrication behind the knees.

One section involved Rubi jumping between moving cars while in pursuit of a man in a suit that had stolen her handbag or something. Predictably, this was a QTE bit. So it looked great and exciting with cars flipping over and sparks flying everywhere and crashes and near misses. But it was still just the QTE bit, so regardless of how cinematic and action-packed it looks, we're sure it'll play just as mechanically as most other predictable QTE bits in other games.

How wet did we get? Not wet. Dry.


I don't have the energy to really hate anything properly. Most things I think are OK or inoffensively average. I do love quite a lot of stuff as well, though.


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