• Rub3z - July 8, 2013 3:07 a.m.

    Correction: Hitler's mech suit has not two, but FOUR chainguns. That just makes overcoming it with just one chaingun of your own approximately THREE times more American. Mathematics, bitches.
  • u_r_cancer - July 7, 2013 6:43 a.m.

    The cancer reddit has started (ironicness) continues to spread and fill the internet. Fuck this web site
  • CitizenWolfie - July 5, 2013 8:08 a.m.

    I know large parts of CoD are based on the SAS but shooting "Castro" in the face made me feel like I was in Team America. And then blasting the undead as JFK inside the Pentagon.
  • jubabowling - July 5, 2013 5:50 a.m.

    "...the fictional wars these two series fight can teach just as much about war as any textbook." False. "...the majority of scenarios in Call of Duty and Battlefield give us a window into the lives of the men and women fighting for the USA overseas." False. I sincerely hope you were being sarcastic when you wrote this. Comparing either Battlefield or CoD to real war is actually offending me. (I am not usually this easily offended by ignorance.) Neither of these games are remotely close to depicting what it's actually like to fight in a war. CoD is absolutely cartoony in it's depiction of combat. Battlefield is a little better but it's still far too mindless. I have yet to see a single game where soldiers or war is accurately depicted. We are not robotic killing machines. There is far more to strategy and tactics than simply pointing a weapon at an enemy and pulling the trigger. Sniping is far more complicated than you could imagine. (Trust me, if these games were accurate pretty much nobody would choose to use a sniper rifle in a game.) Teamwork isn't just a word in the military, it's absolutely essential. Also blood isn't the only thing inside a human head. If you have never seen someone's brains oozing out of their skull (or someone burning to death, intestines spilling out of an abdomen, or someone's ass sitting 30 meters from the body it belongs to, etc.) you shouldn't be pretending you know anything about war. I know that this article isn't meant to be taken too seriously but even so, please don't belittle what soldiers do by pretending you know what it's like to do our job.
  • BladedFalcon - July 5, 2013 3:59 p.m.

    Pretty sure they were being totally sarcastic...
  • Cwf2008 - July 5, 2013 10:30 p.m.

    It was clearly sarcasm, and I think the joke flew over your head
  • jubabowling - July 6, 2013 6:45 a.m.

    I think I actually said that I realized the article wasn't meant to be taken seriously. Ah here it is: "I know that this article isn't meant to be taken too seriously..." I even said I hoped it was sarcasm. (I actually assumed it was.) Still offended anyway. I don't like it when civilians trivialize what soldiers do. Sarcasm or not: War shouldn't be used as a punch line for a poorly conceived joke. Just an opinion, you don't have to agree. I just happen to feel strongly about it.
  • KnightDehumidifier - July 5, 2013 5:15 a.m.

    Launching nukes from Colorado and Texas to blow up the world in Defcon: Everybody Dies.
  • Phillo - July 5, 2013 4:34 a.m.

    I'm sorry to hate on the parade, but the Modern Warfare side of CoD featured primarily British Troops in the key points of the three games. They even went as far to depict the US commander as the bad guy in MW2, with the British Soap and Price being the good guys... odd seeing as how it's usually the other way round in US fiction haha
  • WrathLord03 - July 4, 2013 6:16 p.m.

    It's like the words "America! F--- yeah" were taken right outta Deadpool, and yet it ain't here? Sure, it wasn't that great of a moment in the game, but you could've at least put it in!
  • Jacko415 - July 5, 2013 1:48 a.m.

    Yeeeeeah... see but... that isn't where that quote comes from... so yeah...
  • BladedFalcon - July 5, 2013 3:58 p.m.

    Deadpool said that in reference to the Movie "Team America" which is where this quote comes from and got it's fame. Heck, it's not even a quote so much as it is a full fledged song :P
  • WrathLord03 - July 5, 2013 7:33 p.m.

    I'm aware of the movie and reasonably awesome song, but I think its safe to say that Deadpool, along with the 4th of July which obviously spawned this article, sort of reignited the whole thing. Maybe... Y'know what, I'm completely wrong, never mind!
  • StrayGator - July 4, 2013 1:55 p.m.

    i tried to remember what i thought was missing in this list, but died of dysentery.
  • RedHarlow - July 4, 2013 1:37 p.m.

    America's national anthem should be changed to Guile's Theme.
  • ThatGamerDude - July 4, 2013 9:31 p.m.

    I couldn't agree more!
  • bailey-chewbaccaballs-wilson - July 4, 2013 11:27 a.m.

    Shepards canadian :P
  • BladedFalcon - July 4, 2013 11:17 a.m.

    Heh, amusing how save for one, (the signing of the Independence act in ACIII.) all of these moments pretty much boil down to loud, violent, brawns over brains stuations or themes :P But, hey, that's patriotism everywhere for you XD (I say this coming from a country in which the national anthem is nothing but a glorified war cry... even thought we've never been at war in centuries. LOGIC) Anyway, even if I'm not a US Citizen, Happy independence day for all you guys! ^^
  • StrayGator - July 4, 2013 1:31 p.m.

    "all of these moments pretty much boil down to loud, violent, brawns over brains stuations or themes". I think that's more or less the point of this article.
  • BladedFalcon - July 4, 2013 1:48 p.m.

    Probably, just felt like pointing it out XD

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