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Games that would be better with a Mature rating

Just because a game gets rated 'Mature' or slapped with an 18 certificate doesn't mean it's going to be grown up and serious and any better than something deemed suitable for younger gamers. However, chances are it is probably going to be more fun, simply because it'll have more violence, more sexy, more swearing, more alcohol. And all of those things, as any responsible adult will tell you, are the main ingredients for a good time. In our opinion, the following games could do with a bit of maturing up.

Warning: Younger readers may find the following article immature.


Pokemon Battle Revolution



Look at that image and - hand on heart - tell us it doesn't look a million times more fun than the crap biscuit we were given.


Rock Band/Guitar Hero



Throw in some drug and alcohol misuse mini-games and a few side-quests of a debauched sexual nature and - voila - the world's first rock 'n' roll simulator.


Duck Hunt



Grab your gun and some cold brewskis cos it's time for bird killing and bad language in the awesome new Duck Hunt redux: Duck Guts: F*** Yeah!


Dynasty Warriors



Would make God of War look like a flower-sniffing chick flick.


Trauma Center



We were thinking a full-motion video version along the lines of Trauma Centre: Blood, Guts and Sexy Nurses.

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52 comments

  • Xplosive59 - July 8, 2009 3:36 p.m.

    pikachu fainted , no wait hes dead
  • goodguy - July 8, 2009 3:41 p.m.

    i love it i wish animal crossin was really like that. id be eternally happy
  • FalconMbuster - July 8, 2009 3:55 p.m.

    Gah, imagine fatalities in one of the main series of Pokemon games. It'd be just as bad as Fire Emblem's permanent death.
  • ChrisAntistaSmellsLikePizza - July 8, 2009 5:36 p.m.

    amazing stuff
  • bernie10 - July 8, 2009 5:53 p.m.

    these are actually some good ideas.
  • jammyhippo - July 8, 2009 6:41 p.m.

    the rock band one could have drugs dlc like the stimulants, the the opiates and so on it would be sweet recaptcha ging bedrock
  • kubes - July 8, 2009 7:36 p.m.

    lol this article was great loved the animal crossing
  • Greed - July 8, 2009 8:57 p.m.

    David Hasselhoff in the Sims 3 cover had me in tears
  • zayleffein - July 8, 2009 10:42 p.m.

    Lol I love the dialogue option on Animal Crossing. And if Sims 3 had that edition I would be cringing the entire game. It's bad enough when one of your sims pisses themselves when you're trying to get another sim to like you, then you add binge drinking whilst wallowing on the floor attempting to eat a hamburger and blabbering into a camera... HASSELHOFF! Or drunk with a rotted black beehive in your hair and missing teeth, or stapling your ball sac to your leg... Oh GR you make my day wonderful..er.
  • doomdoomdoom - July 8, 2009 10:49 p.m.

    They should make the sims more like that, then it would be the best game ever to fuck around (literally) games should be made to do random ass shit that make you feel good and other people feels bad like GTA 4
  • CapnCrotchPunch - July 8, 2009 11:48 p.m.

    If the Sims one becomes an expansion pack, I mignt consider bying it immediately.
  • civver - July 9, 2009 12:03 a.m.

    Sigh, boring...at least "blood so cold it could be sold as sorbet on Tatooine" made me chuckle.
  • alexlcna - July 9, 2009 1:11 a.m.

    lol good article, M FTW
  • nschafer - July 9, 2009 2:23 a.m.

    Woo! Pete Doherty just lookin greasy and sick as hell.
  • TheStingingScorpion - July 9, 2009 3:18 a.m.

    Animal Crossing "City Folk" Hmm lets see how about In stead of planing flowers and trees you cud plant Weed and pot whels dealing it to the so called City Folk!! taking them for all the bells ther worth Bahahahah!!!
  • ELpork - July 9, 2009 11:48 a.m.

    Lol, nook you crazy Mofo.
  • Seabread - July 9, 2009 1:37 p.m.

    if the sims was like that, complete with pissed-up nick nolte and pete doherty i'd buy it. as it is it's a pile of wank
  • Harmon20 - July 9, 2009 2:48 p.m.

    first off, I must admit... That rock band take would actually be pretty cool. It would show people the REAL side of being a rock star. And I must admit, I always wanted to behead the cute pokemon.
  • MichaelD - July 9, 2009 3:44 p.m.

    I always wondered wut a graphic version of DuckHunt would be like.lol great article
  • SolidSpartan - July 9, 2009 4:41 p.m.

    Yeah, I've been thinking how animal crossing would be if it were more mature. Tom jacking cars and picking up hookers isn't exactly what I had in mind...

Showing 1-20 of 52 comments

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