Crystal Defenders R1 review

Here’s the thing: Crystal Defenders R1 and R2 have already been released for iPhone and Xbox Live Arcade as a single game. This of course begs the question “why the bloody hell are we paying 1,600 points to play both games?” No one likes being taken for a ride, and Square Enix is laughing in our faces while it lifts the cash from our wallets.

And that’s a crying shame, because despite being fairly simplistic – this is yet another spin on the tower defense genre, rather like Ninja Town but less ninjary – the games are actually pretty entertaining. We found ourselves hopelessly hooked and playing into the wee small hours on several occasions. So why do it, Squeenix? WHY?

Crystal Defenders is loosely based around the Final Fantasy Tactics titles, at least in terms of the character classes and enemies. Here in R1 you’ve got soldiers, archers, black mages, time mages, white monks, dragoons and thieves. Their individual abilities are obvious, so we won’t list them, because that would be boring and you might get angry. Like we’re angry about the rip-off price.

Each level is just a single screen with a path running across it. Waves of enemies will enter the screen at the start of the path and you have to stop them reaching the end of the path by strategically placing your units wherever you see fit. If any enemies get through, they’ll nab crystals from your stash. Lose all your crystals, lose the game, get really angry. Like we’re angry about… sorry, we’ll try to stop going on about the price.

Jul 9, 2009