Happy April Fool’s day everyone. Ever since Al Gore invented the internet, this has been a day for all the websites in the land to attempt to trick their fans as best they can, and today seems no different. The entire world is awash with fake news and press releases, such as Google changing to Topeka and Funny or Die becoming Bieber or Die. But surely there were some chortles from the realm of gaming too? There were some great ones in the past, but lets live in the now, as we give you the rundown on today’s best gaming japery.
Ecco: Water Wars 2 announced
Sega announced the triumphant return of the beloved Ecco series with an FPS reimagining of everyone’s favorite dolphin. Well, technically they announced a sequel to the equally fake game Ecco: Water Wars, and it’s going to be filled with sea mammal violence were it real.
Sid Meier’s Civilization V will have “Extreme Diplomacy”
It was only announced last month, and it looks like the newest entry to the strategy classic will have 2D-fighting to go with the six-sided grid (which is a real thing). Here are just some of the insane finishers to be seen in the eight-button battles: George Washington’s Wooden Tooth Chomp Attack, Otto von Bismarck’s Hurricane Helmet Spike Attack, Cleopatra’s Phalanx of the Leopard Army, Genghis Khan’s Arrow Shower from the Mongol Bow, Julius Caesar’s Reverse Assassination.
Alan Wake Wars
Remedy still hasn’t put out the long awaited Alan Wake for 360, but they already announced via Youtube the first spin-off. The RTS promises tech trees, guns and resource collection. We can’t wait for them to finish it in 2017.
PopCap Announces Celebrity Bejeweled
PopCap sent us a press release about this special $2000 edition of the life-stealingly addictive flash game Bejewelled. It promises to contain DNA From Neil Diamond on top of honoring other stone-related celebs like Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, singers Pearl Bailey and Jewel, Jasper Johns, and NBA Hall of Famer Earl "The Pearl" Monroe. It sounds worth it just to own a piece of the singer of Forever in Blue Jeans.
iBUYPOWER Launches The World’s First Custom Gaming Burgers
In case you’ve never heard of them, iBUYPOWER builds custom PCs for gamers. Today they announced that they’re getting in the custom food biz as well. You can hop on their and add all the patties, custom casings and ketchup you desire.
Dragon Age gets joke DLC
Perhaps taking the joke farther than anyone, BioWare put out for real, buyable joke DLC today for their hit Dragon Age: Origins. The Feastday Pranks and Gifts pack come in a combo pack for $3 or separately for $2 each. The sets include silly joke items like the above doggie cone to be given to all your unsuspecting party members.
Sarlacc Enforcer class added to Star Wars the Old Republic
BioWare wasn’t done after the Dragon Age announcement, as they had this one for Old Republic. All Star Wars nerds know that the Sarlacc is the sandy anus of Tatooine that agonizingly digests their prey for millennia, but few realize what awesome fighters they can be when their many tentacles are outfitted with guns. Yup, in BioWare’s upcoming MMORPG, you can play as the ancient monster all over the galaxy (not really).
Section 7: Into Arm's Way
Perhaps you may have forgotten last year’s above-average FPS (which just hit PSN last week) but now you’ll be able to catch-up in the just announced prequel Section 7: Into Arms Way. This made-up game will go back the developer’s RTS roots, and will include over 3,000 loot slots, randomly generated side quests, and branching speech.
As usual though, Blizzard is the king of April Fools with FOUR awesome jokes, when one of these alone would have been talk of the webs. On the dungeon-crawling beat there was the Diablo GPS which gives directions in the voice of Diablo’s Deckard Cain and the Diablo III Snuggies that come in Magi Blue and Blunderbore Brown. Not to be outdone, their soon to be revamped Battle.net service promises to not only match you in combat, but in love as well. And lastly, it looks like the PC giant is diving into mobile gaming with the announcement of Blackthorne 2 and Queen’s Quest, which both look too cool to not happen.
Ubisoft's Wii-Exclusive Just Dance Sells two Million
And lastly, we read the “news” today that Just Dance on the Wii has sold 2 million copies worldwide. Pfft! Yeah right! Nice try jokers, but you won't get us. Like that thing would ever sell two mill… wait, that’s for real? Seriously?
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