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20 Most Rabidly Patriotic Games

Here at the GamesRadar "idea factory," we don't merely take holidays... we take them and churn them into wonderfully, ridiculously themed features with silly art and sillier jokes. In that truly proud tradition, we're honoring America's 232nd birthday with more than just fireworks, air shows, barbeques and a bare-chested flag-waving werewolf... we're also picking out the 20 most rabidly patriotic games of all time.

What do we mean by "rabid"? Besides the werewolf, of course? Well, these are the titles that take their (possibly genuine) love of country to almost embarrassing extremes. These are the titles that plaster red, white and blue all over their box art simply to make a few extra bucks. These are the titles about saving presidents, killing terrorists and going from rags to filthy, filthy riches. These are the titles that represent stereotypical American values... both good and bad.

And if you're not too fond of the USA these days, fear not! We've got five totally unpatriotic games as well. Let's begin.


America's Army
US Army | 2002

Any game can add the word "America" to its title, but only one is actually owned, financed and distributed by the United States government. Any game can throw in a few dead terrorists to increase Wal-Mart sales, but only one is actually programmed and designed to transform geeky, gangly teenagers into freedom-fueled terrorist-slaughtering machines. Any game can trade patriotism for profit, but only one proved its true love of Lady Liberty by actually releasing on July 4, 2002... the first Independence Day after 9/11, when we needed the guidance and support of our first person shooters most!

Oh yeah, and unless you count $6-8 million in tax dollars, this baby's 100% free!


50 Cent: Blood on the Sand
Vivendi Games | 2008

This sequel is basically one gigantic middle finger to the rest of the world. Go ahead, rest of the world, build those armies. Test those nukes. Invade those neighboring countries. We're still so ridiculously sure of ourselves that - when the shiznit finally hits the fan - we're just gonna send in Fiddy. That's right, just Fiddy. The man's made of bullets and Vitamin Water, people - he can't be stopped.


Patriotic Pinball
2K Games | 2003

"It's time to explore and discover all the possibilities that can unfold in our proud nation," proclaims the back of the box for Patriotic Pinball.

Indeed! What could be prouder than bouncing a little silver ball off George Washington's head? What greater sacrifice could a citizen make than tilting the table to score an extra 100 points off the Statue of Liberty's majestic bosom? What deeper devotion to the nation could this game possibly show than replacing a couple bumpers and flippers with flags? American flags! Those image files didn't upload themselves, you know!


Frontlines: Fuel of War
THQ | 2008

Set in the midst of an energy crisis where natural gas is hard to come by (ya don’t say?), it’s up to a select few soldiers to fight for America’s God given right to control the world’s oil supply. In the sequel, we hear the US will use this war as leverage to drill in Alaska and bring down escalating barrel prices that Big Oil CEO’s “can’t” control.* How sweet - a game that’s indicative of America’s foreign policy.

*Political Commentary


Christian Founders 3D Computer Game
God | The 7th Day

Hey kids! Do you want to learn about the creation of the US government as it specifically pertains to Christianity? Playing as the national personification of the United States, Uncle Sam, uninformed sheep will “fly, slide, jump, bounce, dodge, search and solve puzzles” in this 3D Christian propaganda budget title. Thinly disguised religious text posing as a United States history lesson in videogame form? Whatever it takes to reach them kids, we suppose.


18 Wheels of Steel: American Long Haul
ValuSoft | 2007

Forget the stupid bald eagle. The real symbol of America is the semi truck. What better way to show off our disgusting abundance of wealth, land and naked lady mudflaps than with 18 wheels and 40 tons of road-hogging, gas-guzzling machinery driving 3,000 miles cross country? Possibly to deliver a shipment of bargain bin computer games about that very subject? The Founding Fathers would weep openly at the scene.

51 comments

  • sepirothpk - January 21, 2009 1:05 a.m.

    To America_FTW: America was hardly the underdog in WW@, they came in half way and were the only ones with nuclear weapons. And a lot of people weren't owned and America didn't take any of the brunt from the nazis and took credit for their defeat. USSR collapsed on itself while America was causing itself troubles. And you weren't the only army in the pacific (see: australia, who helped you a lot there). America's not neccesarily bad, but they have messed up a lot
  • MUSH-RUME - January 21, 2009 5:29 p.m.

    RULE BRITANNIA
  • Bonafiide - January 22, 2009 6:33 a.m.

    plumber turned fighter? sounds a little "IT'SA ME, MARIO!" to me
  • kibblesnbits1053 - January 24, 2009 1:52 a.m.

    I'm American and I hate Americans who think they are better than everyone. I also believe that this nation has ALOT to answer for, and not just in the past administration. Who cares if we beat Britain? Who cares if we led D-Day? We've made mistakes throughout the years, and I love America just as much as the next person, but one has to admit we aren't perfect. I'm behind my country as long as it does what is right for the world as a whole. I'm behind all countries that want to work towards the betterment of this planet. HUMANITY ftw.
  • kctusincmprndd - January 31, 2009 1:36 a.m.

    no offence to anybody but why people keep saying America to the country....... come on it is named United States of America and I said OF AMERICA. It is not named America. America is the continent in which millions of people live like me. So quit it....
  • DawgsFan117 - January 31, 2009 2:52 a.m.

    I agree with the above comment it is the USA. Also why is it that every european feels the need to bash the USA. We are just trying to catch up to all of yalls fuck ups along the way. Or does colonizing everything in Africa and the Americas and murdering millions not count as a major dick move. If you are going to look back at the USA's history please look at your own as well.
  • Anonymous93 - February 19, 2009 6:15 p.m.

    I also dont think any country is the geatest and those who think theirs is are probably a bunch of retards who dont know their history
  • Anonymous93 - March 17, 2009 11:34 a.m.

    I was actually criticising the British.
  • SuperBadnik - April 1, 2009 6:47 p.m.

    Ah America. A country built on genocide (of the native americans), which American's think is "freedom".
  • nadrewod999 - April 15, 2009 10:36 p.m.

    No offense to any die-hard loyalists in the chat room, but I think that we shouldn't see people from any one nation as a "superior race", but instead we should see everyone from every nation (AKA THE ENTIRE POPULATION OF HUMAN BEINGS) as "the most powerful race" on the planet Earth, and instead of getting into wars because one guy says "My country rules and your country drools." (I am looking at you, Bush. DON'T YOU DARE HIDE IN THAT TREEHOUSE, W!) Instead, we should put aside our differences (anyone who is racist/sexist/anything-else-ist should be put in solitary confinement until they decide to play nice with others) and work together, not just for the good of ourselves, but EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING ON THIS PLANET AND UNDER OUR PROTECTION! Maybe, just maybe, if we do this, there might be aliens that have been hiding just out of our sight who will see that we come in peace and begin communication with us (That was for the alien lovers out there, which I am not, although it will make life much better if the only fights we have are 1 or 2 fist fights about who needs to rake up some leaves that fell off of one person's tree and into another person's lawn, which can then be bandaged up, but no amount of gauze can heal someone who got headshot by a tank shell that then exploded on the spot)
  • Zeldrin - April 16, 2009 6:13 a.m.

    MGS actually comes appealingly close to the real US once you scratch the giant walkers and clones.
  • sprog - April 24, 2009 6:32 p.m.

    Some strong feelings here eh? I'm British, proud of my country. I admire America for going from a collection of colonies to the powerhouse it is today (read Crazy Horse and Custer by Stephen Ambrose - you'll be impressed). Likewise I admire Britain for staving off non-stop invasions and forging a world-spanning empire over hundreds of years, all from a tiny island. No amount of immature xenophobia will change those facts. France is still gay. Good feature btw.
  • FyshelStix - June 30, 2009 10:39 a.m.

    Great article but I don't agree with the one about Halo, in Fall of Reach I'm pretty sure it stated that the Human forces tried organise a peace between them and the Covenant. Also I've heard American, English and Australian accents in the Halo games.
  • HypureLunatic - June 30, 2009 9:41 p.m.

    @souleater77 there were 6 men raising the flag, 5 marines and 1 sailor Michael Strank, USMC; Harlon Block, USMC; Franklin Sousley, USMC; Rene Gagnon USMC; Ira Hayes, USMC; and John Bradley; Navy Corpsman just thought i'd throw that in there :)
  • DarxStar - July 1, 2009 11:08 a.m.

    GTA IV Unpatriotic? Someone's gonna pay! Wait I'm a Canadian with only a Wii and DS, what do I care?
  • Billiam101 - July 1, 2009 8:19 p.m.

    one more thing france is the best (joke)
  • bobbyjkl - July 2, 2009 11:01 p.m.

    What is this Superman 64 game? I've never heard about it before. Recaptcha: Formulas [unreadable]
  • noobeater - December 23, 2008 1:06 p.m.

    America_FTW needs to learn his history ...well said treners (note- on D-Day the brits landed and lost far less men then the americans) and randy chimp america and americans love themselves way too much great article all the same GR
  • LongRusty - December 30, 2008 10:57 a.m.

    In referece to Americat_FTW 1.You never thought us in WWII, you joined the war after you got your arses handed to you at pearl harbour by the japanese when you realised you were not quite so strong as you thought! 2. Actually we were the first country back on french soil after the retreat from dunkirk, we were meeting up with french resistance while germany STILL occupied it all. And then we were the first country to invade France, coming in on wooden gliders, at one location only 60 men took the most important bridge in normandy, which was defended by a Panzer division and 3 company's of german troops. 3. And who started 2 Wars lately that they are actually losing? Oh yeah, the good ol' US of A. Get your facts straight, frickin little 13 year old
  • neon-rainbowz - January 20, 2009 6:20 p.m.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm an American, I just dislike this country VERY MUCH, but FINALLY we get an awesome president :D (Obama!!!). But besides that, we suck.

Showing 1-20 of 51 comments

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