A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
We open with Rey (Daisy Ridley), her face obscured in protective garb, doing some spelunking in the cavernous carcass of a spaceship.
It looks like shes trying to find engine parts in particular.
The dilapidated ship interior dwarfs her as she descends.
Rey wanders across a dune with cute lil BB-8. Who knew they had Toys R Us out there?
Dreaming of adventure. Or, you know, power converters.
Stormtroopers assemble in whatever remains of the emperor-deprived Empire, now known as the First Order.
Our first shot of Finn (John Boyega) as he removes a Stormtrooper helmet.
Finns voiceover suggests this is his fighter crashing to the surface after a botched battle.
Finn sounds restless, like hes abandoning his service to the First Order for something greater on the horizon.
This appears to be the interior of a Star Destroyer (or a ship like it), with an imposing figure waiting on the bridge.
The voice belongs to Kylo Ren, who seems very nice. Why, hes even offering to complete the work of someone
Oh, hes going to complete the work of galactic, goose-stepping evil overlord Darth Vader. Thats different.
Resistance pilot Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac) appears for the first time in the trailer under duress, somehow being manipulated or tortured by Kylo Ren.
Whee! Its the Millennium Falcon, zooming through the husk of a fallen Star Destroyer as TIE Fighters give chase. This is the most Star Warsy part so far.
Nice throwback to a swooping profile shot that appears during The Empire Strikes Back asteroid chase, and the scene in which rebels amass before their attack in Return of the Jedi.
Han Solo (Harrison Ford) tells Rey and Finn that legends of the Jedi are LEGIT, ACTUALLY. Clever reversal to have him tell this story, given his all you need is a good blaster skepticism in A New Hope.
Mysterious, rain-slick shot of Kylo Ren with a probably evil posse. This has the whiff of flashback to it, possibly depicting Ren in a fallen order.
Stormtroopers attack some kind of coastal area, likely the same place in which weve seen X-wings skim the water in the teaser trailer.
Poe taps Finn on the shoulder as they head in opposite directions. The look conveys a mixture of you can do this and dont you dare betray us, you former minion.
Our analysis: this battle between Resistance forces and First Order TIE fighters will be RAD.
Han, Finn and BB-8 walk beneath colorful strips of fabric, surrounded by time-hewn walls. Could this be Luke Skywalkers house? Is this where the Falcon is usually parked?
Captain Phasma (Gwendoline Christie) marches alongside several stormtroopers to meet and/or shoot someone. Its also possible shes hiding in that costume, and this movie, to avoid an inevitably nasty fate on Game of Thrones.
Han, Chewie and Finn are held up in what looks like a battle winding down. If its not one of the films major conflicts, they could be getting arrested in a throwback to Monty Python and the Holy Grail. But its probably the first thing.
We cut to a big-huge battle amidst snow-encrusted mountains. The presence of deep, seemingly metallic trenches on the ground is unusual, and the camera cuts away just as a large structure is revealed on the right. Did the Death Star get upgraded to a full planet-sized weapon?
Rey fires off an inelegant weapon with rage burning in her eyes.
Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher) finally appears, saddened and consoled by Han Solo. Theyre all gone, she says.I couldnt even get a ticket to my own movie.
Warning: This shot is INTERESTING. Finn is equipped with a blue lightsaber and seemingly startled by his assailant. His opponent wields Kylo Rens red saber, but the floppy hair suggests hes been unmasked - assuming thats him at all.
Star Wars? Whats that all about then?