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Nintendo dates Ocarina of Time 3D, announces Wii Play: Motion, shrugs and says, 'eh'

Nintendo has unveiled its second quarter 3DS and Wii lineup. Its biggest draw? A re-mastered version of a game released in 1998! Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D will be released on June 19. With such a mediocre 3DS launch lineup, we're a little surprised that neither Kid Icarus nor Resident Evil: The Mercenaries 3D were mentioned. Perhaps they'll come in July?

We don't mean to knock Ocarina of Time 3D, of course. As Nintendo points out, the 3DS version will contain an original "Master Quest," which will feature "revamped puzzles and redesigned dungeons that feature the same graphical and interface upgrades as the main game." Still, it's essentiallya remake of agame we played in1998 - not exactly a big launch draw.

Meanwhile, Wii owners can look forward to a big, exciting, brand newfirst-party title...Wii Play: Motion! The new Wii Play edition (which apparently now features motion, unlike all those other Wii games) will be released June 13, and will come with a Wii Remote Plus to get Wii owners "twisting, turning and enjoying themselves like never before."

"From catching a gust of wind by tilting an umbrella to fending off garden pests by swinging a mallet, each of the 12 included games will have players smiling wide as they use their Wii Remote Plus controller (or Wii Remote with Wii MotionPlus accessory) in a variety of interesting, sometimes unexpected ways," says Nintendo.

Interesting, sometimes unexpected ways? Woah, calm it down there guys! What are ya, snake oil salesmen? Just give us the straight talk - how is your lineup for the next few months, really?

"Following a tremendous launch for Nintendo 3DS, our roster of upcoming games for Wii and all of our hand-held systems will keep the momentum going strong into summer," said Nintendo of America PR director Marc Franklin. "Games like The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D and Wii Play: Motion offer exciting additions to some of Nintendo’s most popular franchises, while our third-party partners continue to provide blockbuster gaming experiences for Nintendo systems."

Which third-party titles are those? Nintendo's Wii headliners are heavy hitters like Mystery Case Files: Dust to Dust, Karaoke Revolution Glee: Volume 2 and LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean: The Video Game, andonthe 3DS, Nintendo was sure to call out Dead or Alive Dimensions and Green Lantern: Rise of the Manhunters. Yesssssssssss...

Sorry. We'll quit it with the cynicism. We should have been over this a couple years ago... it's just that Nintendo makes it so easy. Alright, how about this? On the 3DS, Cave Story 3D is out June 28, and if you care, Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell 3Dis out April 10; and on the Wii, the most notable upcoming game is probablyThe Conduit 2, whichwill release April 12.

OK, we feel a little better... wait, what the hell is Transformers: Dark of the Moon Stealth Force Edition 3D? We feel stupid again.

Apr 12, 2011

Associate Editor, Digital at PC Gamer