Embarrassing game magazine covers

Redemption time: here’s where PC mags have a cool advantage! Nothing dates your magazine more horribly than pissing your pants over untested console hardware that’s going to be irrelevant in less than four years.

Above: There is nothing recognizable about anything on the cover

Above: Can’t blame Game Players for the console codename, but it’s still odd everything except the console in question is named correctly

Above: Getting the word “pussy” emblazoned across the cover of Next Gen might as well be the Jaguar’s finest hour

Above: Who wins? Hopefully, advancements in screen capture technology. Can you imagine how many Polaroids some poor bastard went through just to get that shot?

Above: Assuming this battle ever mattered, would these two really be the representative combatants in the arena?

Above: PSM didn’t need to be official to blow the lid off the "8 MB Mem Card"

Above: These were truly exciting times. Especially back when you could represent an “X-Box” console using a Sidewinder controller and a DVD player usually found mounted in minivans

Above: 32-bit on the console I already own? Is this magazine about games or magic?!

Above: You know, the proper name of the console in question is right there on your cover?

Above: Perhaps this console generation has ruined us, but it’s hard to believe there was a time when spark-emitting discs wouldn’t conjure an image of an eventual overheating malfunction

Above: The best way to accurately convey the power of the Virtual Boy is to hurt your readers’ eyes

Above: You can keep your Ultra 64. Tell me more about Mario’s Purple Pants power-up!

Above: Gex and the N64DD? Yeah… you just really had to be there

Bounce to the next page for some horrifyingly human imagery…