No one expected the game of the year to be about a spiteful waterfowl, but here we are. Untitled Goose Game has delighted the masses and gone mainstream, offering even the sweetest souls the chance to honk and harass people without consequence. It got us to thinking, what other animals are ripe for their own Untitled style game?
This is the latest in a series of big questions we'll be interrogating our writers with, so share your answers and suggestions for topics with us on Twitter.
Untitled Honey Badger Game
I was once super ill and spent the day lying in bed watching honey badger documentaries, and let me tell you something, they really don't care. The documentary I recall most vividly was called "Honey Badgers: Masters of Mayhem" and it's just under an hour of pure animal anarchy. These bastards fear nothing - they fight lions, they break into homes, they have 'tude for days. Honey badgers have never had a f*ck to give and they've never even considered the concept. If you think a goose wreaks havoc, just wait until you step into the body of a 35-pound, two-foot long, low-riding demon with massive claws, razor-sharp teeth, and the ability to drop a stink bomb when threatened. This documentary told the story of a guy who was literally abused by the honey badger he kept on his property. It would repeatedly break into the lions' habitat and try to fight them, it would break into his house and case the place searching for food, even breaking into his fridge and freezer so he could lie on his back and lick at a hunk of frozen bacon - the little dude was a total dickhead. Imagine a raccoon on steroids with a Napoleon complex and you've got the basic framework for a honey badger. Untitled Goose Game is child's play compared to the unmitigated power you'd wield as a honey badger. Alyssa Mercante
Untitled Seagull Game
A nice bag of chips you’ve got there. It’d be a shame if someone were to… steal it.
Forget geese, seagulls are undoubtedly the biggest bastards of the bird world. Fact. Whether it’s deafening you with their piercing squawks, or generally hanging around near trash, seagulls are just a massive, massive nuisance.
Thankfully, being a bit of a prick translates well to the Untitled series. Where the Untitled Goose ruined picnics, the Untitled Seagull can go one better: By using its wings to swoop down and nick a few sandwiches, leaving grumbles and crying children in their wake, it already builds upon the mechanics of the original (see, this isn’t just a joke, I’ve thought long and hard about this). You can even switch up the landscapes and head on down to the beach for some serious summer time shenanigans.
Give the people what they want. Give them Untitled Seagull Game. And put it on PS4, you cowards. Bradley Russell
Untitled Sloth Game
Aaaaaaaa reeeeeeaaaaaaaallllyyyyy ssssssslllllloooooowwwww gggaaaaaammmmeeee fffffoooooorrr ppppeeeeeoooopppplllleeeee wwwhhhhhhooooo lllllliiiiikkkkeeeee tttttooooooo mmmmaaaaakkkkkeeeee mmmmiiiiiisssssccchhhhiiieeeefffff oooooonnnn tttthhhheeeeeiiiiirrrrrr ooooowwwwwnnnn tttiiiiiimmmmeeee Sam Loveridge
Untitled wasp game
Wasps are basically the bastards cousins of the bumblebee. They make nests in our attics, refuse to help with the pollination effort, and don't even have the dignity to die after stinging someone. They are, subsequently, the perfect choice for another game starring an asshat animal. Imagine ruining picnics, drunkenly bathing in half finished pints, and - if you're feeling proper mean - getting behind sunglasses or up trouser legs for some really stress-inducing stings. There's challenges of the wasp life that can be easily gameified, too, from avoiding the panicked swatting motions of your hapless victims to resisting the temptation to get stuck on the rim of a jam jar. Wasps are the true villains of the natural world, but I'd pick up a controller to play as one of them in a heartbeat. Alex Avard
Untitled Fox Game
I've always fancied the idea of being as sly as a fox. I used to see foxes sneaking down the road back when I lived near a woodland area, and I can just imagine the kind of hijinks I could get up to on the streets at night as a fox. No one would see me coming. As scavengers, foxes could easily tear through bins, cause a mess in someone's garden and pinch all kinds of things from people's houses. If Gregg from Night in the Woods has taught me anything, it's that foxes like to get up to a spot of mischief, and I'm all for it. Oh, and have you ever heard a fox's call? It's like a high-pitched, screeching, human scream. Forget honking, I'm all about what the fox says. Heather Wald
Untitled Red Panda Game
When it comes to cute animals, Red Pandas have no equal. Look at this video of one getting spooked and tell me it’s not the most adorable thing you’ve seen today. You’d never think these docile bundles of joy would be able to terrorise a placid community, but this element of surprise makes them a perfect candidate to become an animal agent of terror.
Let’s say a groundskeeper spots you having a sniff around his allotment. Is he running at the red panda to shoo them away or is he coming over to give it the fuss it deserves? Obviously, it’s the latter. What that poor schmuck doesn’t realise, is that the Red Panda has claws as sharp as razors (thanks for the info, Brights Zoo), and is about to turn that groundskeeper’s day into a very bad one indeed.
Like any good murder mystery novel, it’s always the ones you least expect. Ben Tyrer
Untitled fly game
Flies are the stupidest beings to have ever graced the planet. They're also the most annoying. No matter whether there's an open door or window right next to them, they'll still insist on headbutting the wall beside it in their effort to 'escape'. Flies also zoom around in endless circles with that infuriating, high-pitched buzz when you're trying to sleep, or hover way too close for comfort. So, a game where you're a fly just being kind of a dick would give the Untitled Goose a run for its money. Benjamin Abbott
Untitled Octopus Game
You've probably heard those stories about captive octopi escaping from their enclosures to eat the fish in other tanks or to make a break for freedom. They demonstrate that, on top of being flexible (no bones y'know) and strong, octopi are weirdly smart. I'd love to play a game where you start as an octopus in an aquarium and easily break out to cause havoc all over the facility every night: eat fish, evade the janitor, stick to a ceiling fan and whip yourself around the room as you spray ink everywhere, that kind of thing. You just have to make sure you get yourself back in your tank by the time the aquarium opens in the morning. Bonus points if the game ends with the octopus hijacking a car and driving it into the ocean for their last daring escape. Connor Sheridan
Untitled Human Game
I'm going to opine that a goose can only has the capacity for unleashing masterful assholery because it has observed the masters of it, the humans. Untitled Human Game is a game of push and shove, in that you walk around pushing and shoving literally everything you come into contact with until you get decked in the face. Think of the DLC opportunities here: Football Fight Fest; The Queue Skip Jump Off; there's even an Elton John partnership on the table for the Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting pack. Listen, I'm into this idea. Humans are the ultimate bastard animals of the natural world. If we need to cut costs, I'll even do the mo-cap – I think I've been training my entire life for this role, as I'm sure my colleagues would happily attest to. Josh West
Untitled Horse Game
I had to take photojournalism in college, and the one time I had to do a sports photo project, I chose horse riding because sports involving balls bore me to tears. No offense to X-ball fans, it's just that your sports don't involve giant, majestic mammals which could conceivably kill a man. Anyway, if there's one thing I learned during that assignment, it's that horses are basically just giant dogs. They're equal parts sweet and skittish, they love treats and pets, they have fluffy tails and manes, and most importantly, they are all good boys and girls. This gives me an idea: Untitled Horse Game, a wacky physics game about playing a horse that thinks it's a dog. You try to climb on your owner's lap, but you nearly crush them in the process. You try to sneak through the living room to steal a treat, but you are a horse and therefore not particularly stealthy, especially in a living room. You playfully swat at your owner when they pet you, only to send them careening into the distance with your powerful horse legs. I'm thinking, like, Octodad meets Catlateral Damage - you're just trying to be a normal dog, but your destructive horse powers cannot be contained. Austin Wood
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