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Which witch is the witchiest witch (in video games)?

Flemeth (Dragon Age)

Known as the 'Witch of the Wilds' in Dragon Age, Flemeth is a grade-A role model for any aspiring hags. Impossibly old, yet able to change from withered crone to bewitching beauty at will, she is able to spread her influence throughout Ferelden over the course of several games. Ooh, and she can change into a dragon. Plus, Flemeth has created a whole family of witches, including series regular Morrigan. I'm tentatively going to say that she needs to be burned, but I'm a little apprehensive about that whole 'changing into a dragon' thing she can do...

How Witchy? Massively witchy. So witchy that's she's sponsored by 'Dave's Brooms', an independent broom retailer in Hull. 4.5 / 5 facial warts.

Chaos Witch Quelaag (Dark Souls)

We're not just dealing with a witch here, but a chaos witch, and she definitely looks the part. A young woman mutated into a giant demon spider from the waist down, she's furious with the world for making her the way she is, and not the kind of spider-person you want hanging out in the woods behind your village. Unfortunately, you'll run into a problem trying to burn her, because the source of her magical power is fire, so I imagine setting her ablaze would tickle at best. Time to go all Wicked Witch of the West and get the hose out.

How Witchy? She doesn't entirely look the part - I doubt think she even owns a pointy hat - but makes up for it with her dark powers and an unrelenting desire to destroy all life and happiness. 3.5/5 facial warts.

Koume and Kotake (Legend of Zelda series)

You can't fool me with semantics, Koume and Kotake. Sure, you may call your shop 'Magic Hags' Potion Shop' in Majora's Mask, but we all know that a 'magic hag' is basically a witch. It's like when people call themselves 'Refuse Disposal Engineers': you're 'bin men', be proud of that! Anyway, K and K... crone-like appearance, broomsticks, potions etc etc. Start building the pyre, everyone. I'll nip down to the local Budgens for some matches.

How Witchy? Won 'Witch team of the Year' at the Salem village fete three years running. Each time, they were lucky to escape with their lives. 4 / 5 facial warts.

Granny Rags (Dishonored)

With a name like Vera Moray, it seems 'Granny Rags' was always destined for Witchdom. Following an ill-fated expedition (to a place in the Dishonored universe that means nothing to most people) she learns to use black magic, and employs it to keep herself immortal. Oh, and she's quite, quite mad: a quality much-admired among the stereotypical witch community. Fun fact: Granny Rags is voiced by Susan Sarandon, who starred in the 1987 version of The Witches of Eastwick. Burn her! Granny Rags, I mean, not Susan Sarandon.

How Witchy? Doesn't really look much like your common or garden witch, but scores bonus points for the Sarandon connection. 3.5 / 5 facial warts.

Witch of Hemwick (Bloodborne)

This old gal ticks just about every witchy box - she's hunched over like an old crone, uses magic spells to control shadow lackeys, drives everyone around her mad, and practices the dark arts out in some backwoods hamlet where no one will notice a few dozen people going missing. I'm pretty sure she'd live in a gingerbread house if that wasn't too cheery for Bloodborne's world of Yharnam. Plus, while she can conjure up powerful magic spells without breaking a sweat, the Witch of Hemwick is happiest when she can immobilize her victims and slice them open like stuck pigs (probably to bake into her grandkid's cookies). Just raze the whole town - it's the only way to be sure.

How Witchy? Her eyeball-covered dress is certainly unique, but aside from that, this old biddy looks like she came straight from the Grimms' grimoire. 4.5/5 facial wars.

Geralt of Rivia (The Witcher)

And so we come to the jokey pay-off portion of the whole article. Geralt of Rivia isn't a witch at all (let's be perfectly clear about that). Sure, he wields magical spells and dresses like the average customer at Waitrose in Glastonbury (Americans, think Walmart in Salem), but Geralt is a monster hunter first and foremost. However, no matter how witchy any other game characters think they are... Geralt will ALWAYS be witcher.

How Witchy? There is none more witchy than Geralt. Here comes that joke again. Doesn't matter how witchy everyone else is: Geralt will always be witcher. 5 / 5 facial warts.