Hans Clamp
Jeffry McWild
Seen having a stupid name in: the Virtua Fighter series.
Name is stupid because it sounds like: Sega obviously didn't pay attention to my "Jimmy McCharactertrait" rule from earlier on.
Wolf Hawkfield
Seen having a stupid name in: the Virtua Fighter series.
Name is stupid because it sounds like: Sega have tried to subvert the "Jimmy McCharactertrait" rule, but only slightly succeeded.
We know that Wolf is a nature-loving woodsman, but the point need not be laboured by stapling together three elements of the natural world in order to create his name. Who's his arch-rival, Concrete Buildingstreet?
Rinoa Heartilly
Seen having a stupid name in: Final Fantasy VIII.
Name is stupid because it sounds like: half a sentence. Rinoa Heartilly what? Ate a juicy roast chicken? Laughed at the poor? What? What was Rinoa doing with such gusto, Squenix?
Team Dignitas
Seen having a stupid name in: the real world, as a pro-gaming association.
Name is stupid because it sounds like: the supporters' association of a well-known assisted suicide clinic in Switzerland. Apparently the whole thing was a complete, really unfortunate accident, and they were quite embarrassed when they discovered connotation.
Sol Badguy
Seen having a stupid name in: the Guilty Gear series.
Name is stupid because it sounds like: OH COME ON!
Fox McCloud
Seen having a stupid name in: the Star Fox series.
Name is stupid because it sounds like: his parents spent very little time naming him.
"So we, Mr. and Mrs. McCloud, being foxes, as we are, have birthed a baby fox. What shall we call him?"
"Fox?"
"Done"
Ceaseless Discharge
Seen having a stupid name in: Dark Souls.
Name is stupid because it sounds like: I'm not even getting into this one.
Dick Gumshoe
Seen having a stupid name in: the Ace Attorney series.
Name is stupid because it sounds like: Capcom tried to go for a name that playfully danced with genre conventions, but then went a bit too far, effectively naming their character "Detective Detective".
Phoenix Wright
Seen having a stupid name in: the Ace Attorney series.
Name is stupid because it sounds like: Okay, looking back over these pages I think we we might actually have stumbled upon the method for coming up with your own personal Video Game Name. By my estimation the method is simply a case of working out your porn name (first pet + mothers maiden name) and then substituting one of the words with the name of a mythological beast or dangerous real-world animal of your choosing. Mine is Goldie Minotaur*. Tell me Metal Gear Solid has never used anything sillier.
*I imagine Goldie Minotaur to be a street-smart female detective in a lightly steampunk-tinged '20s-noir universe. Because why wouldn't she be? She's not a minotaur though. I'm not going all Star Fox with this one.
