23 Movie Directors For GI Joe 2

Ridley & Tony Scott

The Plot: Sick of COBRA, the G.I. Joe Team launch an all-out attack on the villains' base, a blizzard of shock and awe so frenetic it needs two Scotts to fully convey.

Key Characters: Shipwreck and Payload, the commanders of the sea and air assault teams, respectively.

David Fincher

The Plot: Realising that new business Extensive Enterprises is a front for COBRA's terrorist operations, the Joes must fight a psychological war in the boardroom.

Key Characters: COBRA's identical "Crimson Twins," Tomax and Xamot - apparently successful businessman, but really commanders of COBRA's fearsome Crimson Guard.

Sam Raimi

The Plot: While attempting to raid a COBRA base, the Team falls victim to COBRA's latest weapon: a soundwave generator that induces hallucinations of demented monsters.

Key Character: Breaker, the communications officer whose headphones protect him from the madness.

The Coen Brothers

The Plot: The Joes discovers that one of its foot-soldiers is a mathematical whizz who can help them destroy COBRA's technology. Unfortunately, he's also a headcase.

Key Character: Volatile genius Short-Fuze.

Martin Scorsese

The Plot: The G.I. Joe Team discovers that one of its number is a COBRA spy. Meanwhile, Joe's own undercover agent, Chuckles, struggles with guilt over the death of his wife.

Key Character: Chuckles, somewhat ironically named here because his extrovert appearance hides inner turmoil.

Kathryn Bigelow

The Plot: A squadron of Joes is stranded in COBRA-controlled territory and must fight their way out of the jungle to survive.

Key Characters: Jungle trooper Recondo and tracker Spirit, the only men who can lead the team to safety.

Steven Spielberg

The Plot: The G.I. Joe Team thaw out a frozen WWII soldier, experimented on by the Nazis, who now possesses unusual strength to help them fight COBRA.

Key Character: Sgt Savage, who has to adapt to the modern world while trying to cope with the fact that his father has died while he was in hibernation.

Edgar Wright

The Plot: A rom-com with a difference, as two G.I. Joe soldiers find they're falling in love while they're kicking terrorist ass.

Key Characters: Covert ops specialist Lady Jaye and rugged warrant officer Flint.

Christopher Nolan

The Plot: When COBRA explodes a reality bomb, the G.I. Joe team is dispersed into a number of alt-realities. Their only salvation lies in the hands of a turncoat COBRA fighter.

Key Character: Storm Shadow, the COBRA ninja who has an attack of conscience and has to fight through the different realities to rescue the Joe team.

Robert Zemeckis

The Plot: COBRA's latest super-weapon transforms the G.I. Joe Team into toys.

Key Characters: Only the core characters, but mo-capped to resemble their original 1980s action figures.

David Cronenberg

The Plot: COBRA creates a new leader by mixing D.N.A. from history's most vicious leaders. Inevitably, it goes a bit wrong.

Key Character: Serpentor, a schizoid mutant whose genetic ancestry makes him more mental than even COBRA intended.

Christopher Morris

The Plot: With the U.S. public sick of the Joes' destructive ways, it's time to wins back their hearts and minds and hires a P.R. guru.

Key Character: Scoop - journalist, publicist and expert phone hacker.

Quentin Tarantino

The Plot: Complete reboot, as the new G.I. Joe Extreme commandos take on the threat of SKAR (Soldiers of Khaos, Anarchy and Ruin) in a cinematic bloodbath.

Key Characters: Field commander Lieutenant Stone versus SKAR tyrant Iron Klaw.

Lars Von Trier

The Plot: In an austere Arctic base, a trio of G.I. Joe operatives go insane trying to justify U.S. militarism. Self-mutilation and talking polar bears are soon to follow.

Key Characters: Winter warriors Snow-Job, Avalanche and Frostbite.

M. Night Shyamalan

The Plot: When mysterious events incapitate the G.I. Joe Team, they assume it to be COBRA's work...but, in an unexpected twist, it turns out they are toys being controlled by a sadistic manchild.

Key Character: Communications Officer Dial Tone, who figures out what's going on.

James Cameron

The Plot: A new recruit faces the wrath of the Team's sadistic drill sergeant, before being thrown into a global battle - in 3D.

Key Characters: Grunt, the everyman soldier, and taskmaster Sgt Slaughter.

Oliver Stone

The Plot: The G.I. Joe Team is shocked to discover that COBRA's latest military commander is a mercenary with links to the U.S. Government.

Key Character: Amoral one-eyed Major Bludd, who will kill anyone for the right price.

Adam McKay

The Plot: A comedic spin, in which the Team's hapless driver inadvertently saves America from extinction.

Key Characters: Clutch, the sexist driver who would rather make a pass at the ladies than fight terrorists.

Francis Ford Coppola

The Plot: While General Hawk wrestles with unleashing an attack that will wipe out COBRa but cause millions of civilian deaths, flashbacks fill in the details of his formative experiences running black ops for the Reagan administration.

Key Character: This one's very much Hawk's show.

Steven Soderbergh

The Plot: Experimental drama set entirely in a forest where a G.I. Joe sniper awaits further orders

Key Character: Crosshair, a man who is only happy when he has something to shoot in his sights.

Wes Anderson

The Plot: "Sometimes, being a super-soldier is a real drag. Why can't General Hawk, like, just leave me alone?"

Key Character: Deep-Six, the Team's socially awkward deep sea diver and pilot of flying submarine S.H.A.R.C.

Robert Rodriguez

The Plot: Blaxploitation flavoured actioner in which G.I. Joe's latest recruitment drive turns a gourmet chef into a killing machine.

George Lucas

The Plot: Duke turns to the Dark Side and kills all of the G.I. Joe Team. 20 years later, his long-lost son defeats him with the help of some CGI dog-creatures or some shit like that.

Key Character: L'il Duke, who grows up under COBRA's reign of terror unaware that the perp is actually his pa.