Javier Bardem
No Country For Old Men (2007)
The Hair: Bowl cut. Wouldn’t look out of place on a monastery monk, which is sort of ironic – maybe they planned it like that…
“It was insane to have three months with that haircut and also lead a decent, normal life,” said poor old Javier at the time. “But for the character it worked pretty good I think.”
Why So Preposterous? This guy’s meant to be a savage killer with absolutely no sense of humour. Funny that his bob is a big fat joke, then.
Cameron Diaz
Being John Malkovich (1999)
The Hair: Hello frizz, meet back-comb – now play nice. The theory of uglification stands – that is, gorgeous actresses who brave an appointment with The Uglifier and dress down for a role end up giving a performance best.
Why So Preposterous? It’s like a smoggy LA raincloud just hovering over Diaz’s head – that, or some unruly Autumn shrubbery that’s really seen its best but is clinging on for dear life. In short: bad.
Jim Carrey
Dumb & Dumber (1994)
The Hair: Carrey’s catalogue of bad hairdos begins here, and culminates with Lemony Snicket’s bald, grey-trimmed baddie. Here, it’s another bowl cut, this one finished off with a particularly unforgiving fringe.
Why So Preposterous? It’s all about context, really. That hair paired with Lloyd’s, well, dumb personality, sort of make sense. But have the misfortune of catching Lloyd in the street with no forewarning, and you’re in for a pretty severe hair shock.
Joan Cusack
Working Girl (1998)
The Hair: They don’t call the ‘80s the decade that… something… forgot for nothing. What was it? Oh yeah, style. Here’s Joan giving us a prime example – i.e. the bigger the better. Size really does matter here, with towering, hairspray-cemented ‘dos reigning supreme.
Why So Preposterous? It takes some doing to out-loom Melanie Griffith in this dramedy, but Joan does it thanks to what looks like an entire hair salons’ worth of products. We’ve not seen height like it since we last visited the Eiffel Tower.
Jon Heder
Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
The Hair: Heder? Curly Sue called, she wants her hair back. Alright, sorry, we love people with curly hair (evidently they eat a lot of toast), but there’s just something about Heder’s head of hair that makes us giggle and feel a bit sorry for him.
Why So Preposterous? Ah, that’s what it is – he gets his locks lopped at the Cuttin’ Corral! Anybody who subjects themselves to such a place of their own free will is deserving of our derision.
Johnny Depp
Edward Scissorhands (1990)
The Hair: Granted, he’s spent the past who-knows-how-many-years holed up in a desolate mansion, so ‘style’ probably isn’t a word Ed’s familiar with. We should probably be saluting his defiantly individual fashion sense. But there’s no denying that Sir Scissorhands needs to give his mop a damn good brush.
Why So Preposterous? Equal only in preposterousness to the 'dos he creates himself for the neighbouring laydees. Should this guy really be allowed to have a go at other people’s barnets, given his own resembles mal-treated black straw? No matter, he has a pop and a snip anyway.
Dolly Parton
9 to 5 (1980)
The Hair: Oh dear, we’re back in the ‘80s again. This time it’s Dolly getting big and beautiful (or not), with her shocking blonde mountain of spaghetti. Treated to within an inch of its life (assuming it’s not a wig), this ‘do could probably survive a nuclear blast.
Why So Preposterous? Alright, she's got a massive personality to go along with her massive... hair, but it still looks like Ms Parton is storing a bee hive up there in her barnet. That, or a giant money jar ala Marge Simpson. At least she sings good. Right?!
John Travolta
Grease (1978)
The Hair: Talk about high maintenance. Perfecting this Elvis-style quiff is a full-time job for the T-Bird, who spends more elbow grease topping up and re-slicking with a comb than concentrating on classes. That, and singing of course.
Why So Preposterous? Grease is the word! Run your hands through this mop and come away with a handful of gooey stuff – like shoving your mitts into the maw of a drooling St. Bernard. Foul. Further crimes committed against hair by Travolta include his shaggy Carrie and Michael crops, and that godawful dreadlock thing in Battlefield Earth .
David Bowie
Labyrinth (1986)
The Hair: Fantasy gets all punk rock, as the androgynous wonder goes back-combing crazy for volume AND length. It’s sort of like ten different haircuts got together over a few beers, ended up in a hotel room together and birthed this insane atrocity.
Why So Preposterous? Just what IS it? At times it almost looks like a bad old Kim Basinger cut, all blonde and fluffy. Then in others it’s like a hedgehog sat on Bowie’s head and let its hair down. Truly out of this world – perhaps he got in the way of some thunder and lightning.
Nicolas Cage
Con Air (1997)
The Hair: Con hair more like... b’dum tsch! Ahem. Along with his Face/Off buddy Travolta, Nicolas Cage is responsible for some of the most heinous crimes against hair, having given himself over to all manner of wigs and daft ‘dos. But Con Air ’s receding mullet takes the ridiculous biscuit.
Why So Preposterous? Another odd hybrid, long in the back, very short in the front. Add that to the grizzled unshaven jawline and this is yet another Cage hair crime for the vault. And this was before the likes of Adaptation, National Treasure and Ghost Rider . S i g h.
Tommy Lee Jones
JFK (1991)
The Hair: Jones attempts to emulate the hoary hair of the original Clay Shaw, which perhaps accounts for the fake-looking mop covering up his real crop. Still, it’s not a good look for the old-timer. Bet he’s wishing he’d been cast as JFK now.
Why So Preposterous? He looks like a badly plucked chicken! That, or a fluffy cloud. Or a genetically hybridised Lamb Man (surely one for Marvel to contemplate... or not). Either which way you look at it, this is a haircut you wouldn't even wish on your very worst enemy…
Will Ferrell
Zoolander (2001)
The Hair: Curly white monstrosity that morphs Mugatu before our very eyes into some sort of human poodle. Fittingly, this other-worldly ‘do has roots in Star Trek , with the character being named after a venomous primate from a Trek episode.
Why So Preposterous? If it’s not preposterous, it’s not fashion , daaahling! That’s probably Mugatu’s excuse, anyway. It really does resemble something a Star Trek villain might be caught dead with.
Tom Hanks
The Da Vinci Code (2006)
The Hair: Bouncy, luscious, wavy as a horse’s mane… But really looks like it’s been plucked off some 12-year-old girl’s head and glued onto Hanks’. Atrocious.
Why So Preposterous? If hair could talk… It’d probably scream that Hanks was robbed/framed/being forced into the Brothers Of Horrific Hair (alongside Cage and Travolta), considering this rare mis-style. P’raps the make-up department wanted to emphasise Hank’s cranium in order to hint at the intelligence within. That, or the actor did something to really piss them off…
Sean Penn
Carlito’s Way (1993)
The Hair: Another curly one (really, we’re not against curls! We love them! But this lot are getting them SO wrong!), this time as Penn plays gawky David Kleinfeld.
Why So Preposterous? Your guess is as good as ours. Evidently Penn couldn’t resist having a bit of a make-over. “I found a picture in Life magazine of a law student from around the right time period,” he told us back in 2004. “I tucked it into my script and went from there.”
Jason Isaacs
Harry Potter (2002-2011)
The Hair: Sleek, white as a ghost and as luscious as a winter wonderland. It’s on a bloke, though – one who’s meant to be massively evil and stuff. But whenever his sneering mug pops up on screen, all we can do is point and laugh.
Why So Preposterous? We hate to say it, but really you're forcing us, and it’s not like you’re not already thinking it… Vanessa Feltz , alright? There. It’s out. Now don’t you agree? The likeness is uncanny. To be fair, Feltz’s crop has never looked this glossy. We wonder if she’s asked Isaacs for product tips…
Bill Murray
Kingpin (1996)
The Hair: Fly-away comb-over. Silly, very silly.
Why So Preposterous? Bless him, he’s a man clinging on to what he’s got (we all know what that’s like), but there’s nothing dafter than a comb-over, is there? Dude, either just shave it off or get a high quality wig. Shave it, and you can probably buy some polishing gear that would work on the bowling ball as well as your skull.
Gary Oldman
The Fifth Element (1997)
The Hair: Finally! Somebody with a haircut who really is from outer space! But this one really makes all the other nut-jobs pale in comparison, a half-shaved head giving way to a lush side parting – and a strange plastic skull cap to finish the whole thing off.
Why So Preposterous? It’s space fashion, innit? Clearly this guy doesn’t do anything by halves – his name’s Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg for crying out loud!
Brad Pitt
Johnny Suede (1991)
The Hair: “Keeping up an image can be a full time job,” says the tagline. No kidding. They said the movie was a surreal one – we blame that opinion on the hair, which takes up half the frame in every shot. Apparently a lot of the footage ended up on the cutting room floor – we blame that on the crop, too.
Why So Preposterous? Well, it’s just another mountain of hair! Taking Travolta’s Grease look to an extreme, this manly beehive is all about attitude – I’m big, I’m bold, I’m brilliant, now get outta my face!
Terence Stamp
Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert (1994)
The Hair: Hair stuffed with fruit, giant feathers and flowers... Ralph and his comrades put the rest in the shade – quite literally. Combining all of the faux pas of the previous 18 entries (towering, outrageous, multi-coloured, flamboyant, ridiculous), this array is a cornucopia of decadent daftness.
Why So Preposterous? We love a good drag queen in a bad wig, but Ralph and co’s collection really pushes the boundaries of what one can shove on one’s noggin. Impressive stuff – if the most preposterous hair we’ve ever seen on film. Or, ever.
