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If it feels like we've been waiting for a Wonder Woman movie for a long time, well... we have. Joss Whedon (of Buffy, Firefly, and The Avengers fame) penned a script for the superheroine's solo film more than 10 years ago. But today, we can see just how that would've turned out. Indie Ground Films has obtained what seems to be a legitimate copy of Whedon's script from 2006, and have shared it online for all to enjoy.
You can read the whole thing for yourself if you like, but if you just want to know the big differences and a quick synopsis of Wonder Whedon, read on. Before you do, one thing to keep in mind: This was all way, way before the DC or Marvel movie universes were a thing. Gal Gadot hadn't been cast, we didn't have the character introduced in a different movie, and there was overall a much more family-friendly tone to comic book movies at the time.
In short, this isn't Whedon's response to Batman v. Superman, it's just Whedon as he would've made a standalone Wonder Woman film in 2006. Enjoy.
The movie would've taken place in modern day
Or at least more modern than the Patty Jenkins version coming out this summer. There's nothing too significant about this, but just keep the setting in mind as you continue reading. This is a world with cell phones, laptops, and other modern technology.
The movie would've started on Steve Trevor
The movie still would've been called "Wonder Woman" and focused on Diana of course, but it wouldn't be the black-haired heroine or indeed any Amazon that we first see. Instead, the opening moments would have been dedicated to introducing Steve Trevor and his crash landing on Themyscira while in the midst of transporting supplies to refugees.
Hippolyta and Diana would not have gotten along
To be fair, Diana and her mother Hippolyta, Queen of the Amazons, might not get along in the Wonder Woman we'll get to see next month. But what little we have seen in trailers at least makes Hippolyta come across as loving and concerned. In Whedon's version, the two butt heads fairly frequently and loudly. They even have trial by combat to see who gets to decide Trevor's fate.
Diana's gal pal would've been really curious about penises
There's no other way to put it. When Trevor is first found (and captured) by the Amazons, Diana's friend Aethra is enraptured. She rushes up to Diana and whispers something the audience can't hear, causing Diana's face to turn to shock. Aethra then says, audibly, "Well I would have." Later, after Diana has interrogated Trevor in his holding cell, Aethra says, "Tell me you at least looked at it." It's not hard to get what Aethra's going for here.
Diana's first experience with the outside world would also be her first time getting shot
We've seen in the trailers a look of confusion and wonder (no pun intended) when a bullet whizzes by Diana in slow motion. It's clear she's never seen modern weaponry before. Ditto for Whedon's version, though in that script, Diana takes a bullet to the chest when she challenges a warlord for control of the aforementioned refugee supplies. It doesn't kill her, but it does cause her to black out for several hours.
It would've had different villains
Even though he hasn't been seen in full view, it's an open secret that the main villain in Wonder Woman will be Ares, god of war. In Whedon's treatment, it's Strife, god of chaos, who causes problems for Diana. Whedon describes him as having a white, disfigured face with red teeth and a carved metal skull-cap. He also has a nasty, dragon-like pet that eats people. So, not a good guy.
Strife is also tied to Spearhead Technologies, your standard evil mega-corporation. They deal in military tech, using corrupt officials to lay the groundwork for their misdeeds. They spread propaganda and the CEO outwardly expresses a desire for world domination. They also spy on the world and have a bunch of employees who work in a secret lair and wear all black. Their presence is... not subtle. Oh, and they've got a giant machine monster in their basement.
Diana would've lost her first (and second) fight
It's a pretty well-worn trope by now that the hero must first encounter the big bad, lose to them, regroup, learn a valuable lesson about humanity, or inner strength, or courage, or the importance of teamwork, etc, and then come back and beat the villain later. In Whedon's script, Diana has a battle with Strife in the midst of a collapsing building, which eventually crumbles down on top of her. She recovers, but she clearly did not win the fight. She meets up with Strife again later, and loses that battle as well (but more on that in a bit).
There would've been a *very* bad pun
While trying to slip inside a club, Diana and Trevor come up against a particularly grumpy bouncer. He says they're not getting in, and the camera cuts to a few moments later, with Diana and Trevor inside. She says, "I don't get it. He didn't bounce." *cue groans*
Diana would've gotten her dance on
Once our heroes are inside the aforementioned club, Diana struts her stuff. The dance is described as "sensual, ethereal, and wicked sexy. This is not a warrior march; though it remains idiosyncratic, it is neither out of place nor unnoticed on the dance floor." It might seem silly, but the idea is to get the attention of Bacchus, the god of wine and revelry, who runs the club. And it works.
Trevor would've dropped the F-bomb on Diana
In a rather heated exchange about the nature of heroism, Trevor argues that Diana isn't a hero because a hero can't choose to be a hero. Because she can go back to paradise at any time, Trevor calls Diana a "fucking tourist." Ouch.
Diana would've lost her powers
In their second face-off, Diana and Strife come to a standstill. Strife takes Trevor captive and says the only thing that will save him is if Diana submits. She volunteers to become chained and powerless, and Strife teleports her to a rainforest. He leaves her there (presumably to die), and we see her for the first time struggle. She's weak, disheveled, hungry, and injured. She gets captured by some drug cartel types and only when she realizes her mother has been watching over her does she find the courage to fight back. She breaks free of her captors and pulls apart the chains binding her.
We would've seen (or... uh, *not* seen) the invisible jet
It's one of Wonder Woman's tackiest, silliest pieces of history, but yes, the invisible jet would've made a (non-)appearance in Whedon's version of Wonder Woman. After breaking free of the drug cartel, reclaiming her identity, and freeing other hostages, Diana is led to a hilltop where the invisible jet awaits. It's written to be funny, with everyone but Diana not understanding what's going on.
Trevor's big plan to save the day is... YouTube? Intense collateral damage? It's not super clear.
So Strife is working with Spearhead to destroy the fictional city of Gateway for... reasons. Nobody knows about this of course, so Trevor decides to bring Strife out of hiding and into the light. He sets a trap so that when the god of chaos arrives, he'll be broadcast for the world to see. "It's called the internet age," Trevor says cockily. "This is going out to the whole world." I wonder how many upvotes it'll get?
Now, one could argue that the real plan is just to frustrate Strife enough that he calls forth the mechanical monster Spearhead has been keeping in their basement. But that's not much better, considering the amount of damage it can (and does) cause.
There would've been a chase scene between our heroes and a mechanical chimera
Speaking of the metal beast: it's called a Khimaera, and while it's technically not an actual monster, it's a piece of machinery that's sure designed like one. It's over 100 feet long, with multiple "heads" used for drilling and demolitions, and a serpentine body. Strife rides the Khimaera as it chases Trevor and his friends through Gateway. Diana shows up in her invisible jet to fight it and deals a fair bit of damage before crashing and taking the fight to ground level.
It would've teased a romance with Trevor, Wonder Woman flying, and a battle with Ares
Once the Khimaera is defeated, Diana and Trevor face off against Strife. Diana tricks him into getting impaled by his own spear, and he dies. Suddenly an image of Ares appears, warning Diana that she has provoked him and his wrath. She strolls away from their conversation, Diana and Trevor kiss, and Diana has one last moment to reflect on her journey. She says an inspirational "I learned something today"-style monologue and then indicates she's going to try "reading the wind." Trevor objects, saying she can't fly. She looks back at him. "Can't?" Blackout. The end.
Directed by Patty Jenkins and starring Gal Gadot, Chris Pine, Lucy Davis, Connie Nielsen, Robin Wright, Lisa Loven Kongsli, Danny Huston, David Thewlis, and Said Taghmaoui, Wonder Woman will open in cinemas on June 23, 2017.
