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Toy Academy
Barbie & Ken
The Possible Plot: It’s a straightforward rom-com revolving around the dappy plastic couple, as the new relationship between Barbie and Ken comes under the spotlight.
Will their love survive the twin pressures of living together and running the daycare operation?
And perhaps more importantly, can Big Baby really be trusted not to start scaring the living shit out of people again?
Tissues Out: The moment when Barbie realises she isn’t anatomically correct and will not be able to carry Ken’s children. Happily, the pair realise they will always have Big Baby to look after. Ahhh.
Generation Next
The Possible Plot: As unwilling as Pixar would likely be to ditch their existing cast of characters, perhaps the best direction for the series would be to bring in some fresh blood.
We could envisage a scenario in which the film follows the grown-up Andy, his kids and a whole new bunch of toys for them to play with.
Buzz and Woody could turn up midway through as soon as this new batch start contending with getting lost / abandoned / broken (delete as appropriate).
Tissues Out: Andy peeks into his kids’ bedroom to watch them play, tearing up at the memory of his old pal Woody…
Toy Meets Girl
The Possible Plot: The obvious chemistry between Jessie and Buzz is finally given the treatment it deserves in this romantic drama.
Cue a traditional Pixar balancing act of appeasing both adults and children, as the pair’s relationship begins with silly laughs aplenty before degenerating into a messy, hyper-realistic, slit-your-wrists portrayal of ruined love.
Think Blue Valentine with slapstick.
Tissues Out: The crushing fallout from their break-up which sees Buzz forced to leave both his ex and his friends… if only he hadn’t started drinking so heavily.
Toy Story: The College Years
The Possible Plot: Having decided that Bonnie is no replacement for their old owner , the toys resolve to force their way back into Andy’s life by following him to college.
Once there, the toys encounter many of their counterparts attempting to do the same thing, and another bout of toy-based soul-searching ensues.
Off-screen, parents complain as the traditional family-oriented vibe collides with scenes of teen sex and heavy drinking.
Tissues Out: The gang realise they should never have abandoned Bonnie, and return home, tails firmly between legs.
Sadly for them, it turns out they’ve all been replaced in the interim. There’s a lesson here kids…
Toys On Tour
The Possible Plot: Bonnie’s family head off for a holiday abroad, and this time (unlike in the excellent Hawaiian Vacation short) she takes her toys with her.
Inevitably, the toys have only been abroad five minutes before getting separated from their owner, and so begins a race against time to rejoin her before she heads home to the States.
Fortunately, there are some amusing foreign counterparts to help them along their way.
Tissues Out: Woody falls for an exotic foreign toy, only to have his hopes of romance dashed by his unyielding belief that he must stay with his kid. Live a little, man!
Bonnie's Story
The Possible Plot: The human element is brought to the fore in this new direction for the series, with young Bonnie finding herself picked on by bullies at school.
Having witnessed this cruelty first hand during a show-and-tell period, Woody resolves to teach her tormenters a little lesson, mobilising the other toys to set about scaring the life out of them!
Tissues Out: Woody’s plan yields its first casualty, as poor Rex is left behind during an excursion to one of the bully’s houses.
Total Recall
The Possible Plot: Whilst Toy Story 3 was undoubtedly ace, we always liked the sound of the alternative storyline that was kicking around for a while.
In it, all Buzz Lightyear action figures were set to be recalled and destroyed, after the manufacturer discovered a design flaw.
With Buzz shipped off to Taiwan, the toys must embark upon their most testing adventure yet to save him from an untimely end.
Tissues Out: Having made a new group of friends en route to Taiwan, Buzz realises the manufacturers aren’t playing when his new pals are crushed, recycled and turned into water bottles.
When Toys Attack!
The Possible Plot: The gang are forced to fight for their survival when a new range of military-themed toys encroach upon their territory.
Pre-programmed by the manufacturer to attack other toys (thus increasing demand) these aggressive little blighters soon have Woody and co. fearing for their lives, until Buzz taps into his old Space Ranger persona and begins to lead the fightback…
Tissues Out: Poor Slinky is the first to come a cropper, snipped in half when one of the invading toys gets their hands on a pair of scissors.
Worlds Collide
The Possible Plot: Abandoned again by a grown-up Bonnie, the toys are recruited by Sully and Mike as laugh-providers for Monster’s Inc.
Initially, the toys are thrilled just to be back in action, but whining old Woody soon starts kicking up a fuss about how “this wasn’t what we were made for.”
As this crossover smash breathes new life into both franchises, and the merchandising cash comes rolling in, it’s promotions all round at Pixar.
Tissues Out: Sully realises he has flouted the small print in Monsters Inc.’s employment policy and ends up losing his job over it. Boo hoo.
