Total Film At Cannes 2009

Sunday 15 - Day Five

Films seen: Agora and Antichrist (got to Un Prophète 45 minutes ahead of screening… Complet. That means full. Bums.)

Films reviewed on video:

Films reviewed with words: Un Prophète

Films we haven’t quite got round to reviewing yet: Inglourious Basterds . Because it's screening on Wednesday.

Ex-Friends characters interviewed who we really liked: One. Giovanni Ribisi. He was Phoebe’s brother and is a bit of a legend. Check out our video, where he only bloody reads Total Film:

Ex-Friends characters interviewed who we didn’t like: None.

Time spent queuing: Bit bored of this entry on the daily template now. Last legs. And did Un Prophète with words after our much-anticipated video debate thing had to be cancelled.

Interviews done: Giovanni Ribisi (man crush), Malin Akerman (woman crush), a couple of blokes on the street and the cast and director of Taking Woodstock. More later.

Number of times Kevin Pollak complimented our camera: Once.

Croque Monsiuers eaten: We got really, really, really close. See the video below:

Films on the schedule for today, Monday 18 May: Looking For Eric, Vengeance by Johnny To and something else that will never get a UK release.

Earlier: Day Four [page-break]

Saturday May 16 - Day Four

Films seen: Un Prophète and Mother (beacoup d’interviews today. It’s kicking off)

Films reviewed on video: Fish Tank ...

Films reviewed with words: Bright Star , Mother

Un Prophète has split the team so we’re prepping a video conference debate argument fisticuffs thing.

Films we haven’t quite got round to reviewing yet: None. Er, apart from that Un Prophète thing

Ex-Baywatchers seen: One. Donna D’Errico. As you can see from our Day Four Video Diary, she’s not as young as she was. Nice, though.

Time spent queuing: One minute at the supermarket for lunch.

Interviews done: Ben Kingsley...

,,,and the people from The Making Of Plus One – that you can see on the Day Four Diary up there.

Parties attended: One. Yes, we've found a party. Sort of. It’s a drinks thing for The Bang Bang Club with Malin Akerman and Taylor Kitsch. Check back tomorrow for that…

Croque Monsiuers eaten: Guess what? We still haven't had any bloody Croque Monsieurs. Or non-bloody ones. None. No Croque Monsieurs at all.

Friday May 15 - Day Three

Films seen: Humpday , Fish Tank , Taking Woodstock

Films reviewed on video ( Taking Woodstock review tomorrow):

Films reviewed with words: Fish Tank , Tetro , Taking Woodstock

Films we haven't quite got round to reviewing yet: None. We’ve done all we could today. Hoorah. Soz, we had to miss redux The Red Shoes . Coming out on Blu-Ray though so, er, we'll watch that at home. In between bouts of Pro-Evo.

Ex-Arsenal footballers seen walking into a bar: None. Not even Marc Overmars. Useless.

Time spent queuing: 75 minutes. Ish.

Parties attended: None. This really is Credit-Crunch Cannes. Apart from the party we’re going to tomorrow night, of course.

Earlier: Day Two [page-break]

Thursday May 14 - Day Two

Films Seen: Air Doll, Thirst, Tetro

Films Reviewed On Video:

Films Reviewed With Words: Jamie's reaction to Chun Feng Chen Zui De Ye Wan.

Films We Haven't Quite Got Round To Reviewing Yet : Tetro. It started at 10.30pm. Watch a space near here.

Ex-Arsenal Footballers Seen Walking Into A Bar: One. Patrick Veira. Tried to nab some footage, but he shifted off to some VIP gaff. Whatever. He’s past it anyway.

Time Spent Queuing: 15 minutes

Parties Attended: None. We’re having a night of homecooked pasta. Wild.

Croque Monsiuers Eaten: None. This is getting silly.

Films On The Schedule For Today, Friday 15 May : Bright Star, Precious, Ang Lee’s Taking Woodstock and Humpday. Not sure how all four are possible, but we’ll see.

Number Of French Words We've Spoken That French People Have Understood: Loads. The waiter last night was bowled over by our Franglais.

New Stories We've Heard: Red Riding is coming to a cinema near you (if you live in America) as is an Italian Job remake (if you live in India).

Earlier: Day One [page-break]

Wednesday May 13 - Day One

Films Seen: Up , Chun Feng Chen Zui De Ye Wan

Films Reviewed On Video:

Films Reviewed With Words: Jamie's first reaction to Up.

Films We Haven’t Got Round To Reviewing Yet: Chun Feng Chen Zui De Ye Wan – bet you’re all champing at the bit for that one.

Time Spent Queuing: 25 minutes.

Parties Attended: 1. The Up party. Biggest celeb? Giovanni Ribisi. Best thing? The model house being lifted up by thousands of balloons.

Other Videos We Did:

Croque Monsieurs Eaten: None. Just eggs as yet.

Films On The Schedule For Today, Thursday May 14: Andrea Arnold’s Fish Tank , some blow-up doll thing and – hold the phone – Kasi Az Gorbehaye Irani Khabar Nadareh .

Number Of French Words We’ve Spoken That French People Have Understood: One.

Best Thing Of The Day: