Game development: it's weird. Games are powered by shortcuts, time-savers, and stuff that by rights shouldn't work. However, this is no excuse for the knowledge that Bungie has inflicted upon me today. It turns out the creation of Destiny 2's lovable new robot dog, Archangel, started with a pink, gelatinous demon.
Bungie released a development diary that absolutely no sane person asked for in its latest weekly blog post. "Our team has really been able to stretch their creativity when it comes to adding fun, delightful characters into the game like the Fallen babies, bobbleheads, and Starhorse," the post begins, suckering readers in with promises of wholesome details before hard pivoting to this.
Bungie, why Via:https://t.co/I2GRboB7FW pic.twitter.com/k1Z9ytnXBkJanuary 12, 2023
"Each Season we spend a bit of time brainstorming fun little Easter eggs, and for this Season, everyone wanted to build a robot dog. But it wasn't that easy," Bungie explains. "After the team came up with the idea, the first question was, 'Can I pet it?' And we knew the answer had better be, 'Yes!' So, we quickly performed this interesting test to confirm that 'petting the dog' was indeed possible."
Bungie, we need to have a conversation about what a dog is. I would prefer the ugliest, meanest, loudest chihuahua I have ever met to the pink abomination I see before me. Why does it hold its arms like Filthy Frank cosplaying a T-Rex? Why is it stuck in a perpetual air squat? Why does it bob its head like that when pet? God, you can practically hear the vertebra crunch.
Get that thing out of here. Instead, look at the first draft of the actual dog that went on to become Archangel.
Here's some good news: while Archangel will leave the Tower for a while at the end of the season, they'll return in Season 21 "for more pets." If you need me, I will be glued to Archangel's side, spamming the pet button until the memory of this creature leaves my mind.
Bungie's also promising a shorter Iron Banner grind for the next event after the most recent one nearly broke the community.