Being fat makes you jump higher.
Who do you think about when we ask you which game character is the best jumper? Mario? A good guess, but you'd be wrong. The fat guy beats all when it comes to reaching for the stars. You've seen him in 8-bit side scrollers like Karnov and beat 'em ups like Final Fight. Always fat, often bald, and sometimes mustachioed, the fat guy knows no bounds when he pumps his flabby legs.
How the fat guy somehow manages to overcome the disadvantages of extreme obesity by leaping higher than an Olympic pole vaulter is a mystery to us. But whenever you see the infamous fat guy leap so high he leaves the screen, you'll want to jump or run out of the way immediately to avoid his lardy landing, which usually causes massive damage or a severe stun via his fat-fueled mini-earthquake.
Above: Mario's got a bit of a pooch himself. Maybe that's where his semi-fat guy jumping skills come from
Water = Instant Death.
Water is the source of life. Most of our body is composed of it and without a regular supply we'd die of dehydration. So why does touching water lead to instant death in so many platformers?
Game designers have hated on the refreshing blend of hydrogen and oxygen for long enough. It's time for these aquaphobes to get over their chemical prejudices and stop painting water as this evil character killing element. Why does the frog in Frogger croak when he gets his toes wet and what's Sonic the Hedgehog got against baths?
The shopkeeper should save the day.
You're running low on supplies after forging past lava-filled dungeons and hundreds of hostile foes. Thank god you've found an item shopkeeper where you can restock on goods. But wait a minute. How did he get here before you? And how did he set up a shop in the middle of all this chaos?
Maybe it's the shopkeeper who should be saving the world/princess or defeating the unstoppable evil. After all, he already has all the best guns/armor/items in the game, and obviously has more stealthy skills than Solid Snake and Sam Fisher combined, judging by the way he manages to infiltrate well-guarded areas.
