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It’s detention all round for those behind this sequel to 2007’s surprise Brit-hit, a chuckle-free zone that should stop this retro franchise in its tracks.

Returning to the anarchic boarding school first seen in the drawings of Ronald Searle, this Ealing production initially draws comparisons with the studio’s Kind Hearts And Coronets heyday by having Rupert Everett play both headmistress Miss Fritton and a couple of her ancestors.

Alas, this is quickly jettisoned in favour of a dopey scavenger hunt plotline that sees the class of 2009 look for the buried treasure that will safeguard St Trinian’s future.

Established cast members, among them Talulah Riley and a fleeting Gemma Arterton, are joined by some unlikely newcomers (David Tennant, Girls Aloud’s Sarah Harding) in a film that flails about wildly in search of at least one half-decent joke.

Tragically, the closest it gets is having a dog hump Colin Firth’s leg.

Neil Smith is a freelance film critic and writer who contributes regularly to Heat, SFX and Screen International. He's a long-time member of the London Film Critics’ Circle and was a contributing editor at Total Film for many years.