Sonic's 20th Anniversary teaser trailer will end wars

Certain people you just can’t please. And by “certain people,” we mean Sonic fans. In the hedgehog’s two decades on this earth he’s garnered an incredibly broad fan base from 16-bit platforms, 3D games, comics and TV shows. Meaning poor Sonic has to cater to several different sects of conflicting expectations, that’ll ultimately leave someone unreasonably dissatisfied. But that’s not gonna stop Sega from trying!

Obviously, Sega’s latest approach to appeasing fans, Sonic the Hedgehog 4, blatantly sucked because Sonic’s pupils were a different color. This we know! Also, he wasn’t fat enough. And “Where’s Amy?!” cried some idiot somewhere. So in honor of Sonic’s 20th anniversary, Sega’s reaching out to multiple factions of whiny Sonic fanboys to give them the best of both worlds, as you’ll see in this trailer which is every bit as awesome as it silly and hilarious

Above: One of these Sonics is blatantly better than the other! Can you guess which one?!

Are you happy now?! Sega’s gone and crossed over two universes most of you probably had no idea were even mutually exclusive in the first place. Now fans can have their green eyes AND their paunchy tummies IN A SINGLE GAME!!! You know, so as to retain what’s truly important to Sonic game?!

Above: All the difference in the world

Sega should be commended for its attempt at pleasing every Sonic fan, but this is still one of the goofiest moves I’ve ever seen a company forced to make by its own malcontent audience. Rumored to be called “Sonic Generations,” I’d wager to bet there’s millions of Sonic fans who can’t even perceive the difference occurring here. Seriously, can you imagine how baffling this concept will appear to a new or casual Sonic fan?! Either way, I’m amusedly excited!

Apr 7, 2011

And since they all came straight from Sega, this idiocy is OFFICIAL!

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