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If there’s one thing more heinous than glamourising sex slavery, it’s attempting to glamorise sex slavery and making a drab mockumentary instead.

Despite Danny Dyer’s heavy presence in the film’s pre-release publicity, writer/ director Robert Cavanah has actually cast himself in the lead as Woody, a kindly pimp showing a camera crew round London’s ‘colourful’ Soho district. Even Dyer’s reputation for excellence in the art of swearing has been tarnished by the appalling script he has to work with here.

You wouldn’t think a film could actually be both very boring and very offensive. Pimp is that paradox made flesh.