The world of Middon is under siege by an alien race and it’s up to you to help put a stop to them. You play as a freshly minted Caster, a sort of super soldier who can run really fast and fire energy beams from his arms. Caster’s story is pretty light, but it’s the controls that really make this action game shine; it’s the smoothest third-person shooter on the iPhone that we’ve ever had the pleasure of playing.
Changing your direction on the fly, double-jumping, and dashing to outflank hostiles while peppering them with your beam attacks is a blast. Plus, there’s a nice variety of missions types, maps, and options for upgrading your Caster to keep things interesting. Unfortunately, there is no demo version of this app. But $2.99 is definitely worth the price of admission.
How much shame should you feel for owning this app?
Make an under aged object of desire scream and moan to a 4/4 beat. Then look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself how it came to this.
Above: Perfect for DJs and thirty-year-olds who never had a younger sister to molest, but always wanted one
Leaf Bound offers a lot for its asking price. This charming game charges you with hopping as high as possible while dodging an army of mischievous monkeys who are always trying to bring you down. The controls are simple. Just slide your finger back and forth along the bottom of the screen to direct your ninja girl as she hops from leaf to leaf while avoiding and stomping on naughty monkeys that get in your way. Leaping from leaf to leaf over the game’s colorful backgrounds is super fun. But the best parts are the boss battles. When was the last time you beat down a squad of monkeys riding a rocket ship made out of a giant banana?
Evangelion vol. 2 Clock
Is $2.99 too much for a clock? Normally, we’d say yes. But look at how awesome this Neon Genesis Evangelion clock looks! With a badass clock like this counting down the seconds to doomsday, it’s tough to not live every moment like it was your last.
Above: The Evangelion clock is pretty awesome. Did we mention that it also looks super cool?
Animemory = Japanese Schoolgirls =
If you love generic J-pop and don’t object to the objectification of tender teenage schoolgirls, then Animemory = Japanese Schoolgirls = might be the best three dollars you ever spent. It’s a basic memory card matching game that reveals fresh prints of young girls experiencing the joys of puberty and the horrors of the male gaze. At the end of each stage, you also have the option to save the unlocked image to your iPhone’s Camera Roll so you can do god knows what with them later.