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Gaming's most ludicrous storylines

DEAD OR ALIVE XTREME BEACH VOLLEYBALL | Xbox
Clearly, Team Ninja believed it needed an excuse for this exploitation of its figher babes. Could it not have come up with a better one than this?

The short version
Zack, the winner of the original Dead or Alive combat contest, wins a ludicrous amount of money and buys himself a private island. A sly chap, he then invites all the impossibly busty women from the Dead or Alive series to the newly christened Zack Island, fooling them into thinking that the new Dead or Alive tournament will be held there.

Once arrived, however, the girls quickly realised they've been had. Yet, though they attempted to tear each other to pieces at the last meeting, the ladies instantly settle their differences and decide to enjoy the luxurious surroundings of Zack's paradise. Even more surprisingly, they've all packed a beautifully made bikini. After two weeks, the girls leave, a volcano erupts and the whole island is destroyed.

The short version, shortened
Killer battle babes are fooled into visiting a tropical island. Decide to make the most of it by playing volleyball and wearing less fabric than would cover a toothpick. Leave an explosivemess behind them. Typical.

KATAMARI DAMACY | PlayStation 2
Barmy doesn't mean bad - Katamari is a superb game. But at the same time it's also crazier than a sack of wet cats.

The short version
The King of All Cosmos might be a giant, near-omnipotent being, but he's still a ruddy loon. One day, while totally smashed up on booze (according to the Japanese version), the postbox-headed big'un accidentally destroys all the stars in the universe, passes out and then wakes up with no memory of how it all happened.

Putting all the responsibility on his pint-sized son, the Prince of All Cosmos, the King gives him a special super-adhesive ball, a Katamari. Then the prince is sent to gather enough gubbins - from pins, insects and pencils to horses, islands and stadiums - to replace the gazillion lost stars. In addition, the Prince must also replace the Moon (which was also lost) so that an astronaut Tomio can complete his mission to land there. Yes, really.

The short version, shortened
Stocking-clad deity gets sauced up and inadvertently wipes out all the stars. Sends his son to roll up everything he can find, then turns the balls into new stars. Obviously.