KING HIPPO
From: Punch-Out
Weighs as much as: Bear Hugger and Mad Clown from Super Punch-Out
Punch-Out may’ve had Mike Tyson’s name on it, but everybody knows this is King Hippo’s game. Far and away the most memorable character, King Hippo had a cavernous mouth that was a blessing and a curse. While it may’ve streamlined binge eating, it allowed the sadistically opportunistic Little Mac to exploit his proud and bandaged gut for a single, devastating takedown.
PAC-MAN
From: The Pac-man series
Weighs as much as: A dusty arcade cabinet
Hear us out! Pac is all about consumption. A complete slave to his appetite, nature had to go so far as adapting his stomach to digest the undead. And he’s goddamned spherical! And it wasn’t always this way. Judging by skinnier early depictions, he obviously prefers the thickset lifestyle.
Fattest Achievement:
Ever the progressive, Pac-man had no problem sharing the spotlight with his equally tub-of-shit wife.
MONDU
From: Tongue of the Fatman
Weighs as much as:Seven tons of Awesome!
Also known as Slaughter Sport and Mondu’s Fight Palace, the above title more than suits this game, starring the undisputed champion of overindulgence. As a fighting game it’s almost unplayable, but you just can’t help but sit back and marvel at those cascading ripples of flesh. That’s a lot of man.
Fattest Achievement:
If you thought we were going to simply credit Mondu for starting a pan-galactic fight club here, then you’re dead wrong. It’s the corpulent evolutionary step of sprouting a much larger mouth directly attached to his stomach that wins the prize. Perfect for simultaneously swallowing whole tubes of cookie dough, catching rogue Cheetos and eating small children undetected. You rule, Mondu!
Feb 22, 2008
