We’ve got a while to wait until Game of Thrones season 8 arrives. Yep, it’s scheduled to hit our screens at some point next year, giving us plenty of time to take stock of what’s happened so far... and of our Thronesian swag. What better use of the next 12 months than to figure out how to replace all of your worldly possessions with the best Game of Thrones merchandise! It’s entirely up to you how you utilise this here list. You can refer to it sporadically, every time you need to update your glassware and want the very finest Tyrion-influenced pint glasses. Or, you can just say yes to it all and redecorate your entire house so that it looks like the floor at SDCC. The decision is entirely yours. Whatever you choose, there’s something here for you.
Night King and Viserion Funko Pop
Game of Thrones Funko Pops blow many other brands out of the water. They’re a great way of geek collecting AND your love of Thrones can be on display at home, in a family-friendly way. It’s a win-win. While there are loads available, this Pop is particularly great. It’s inspired by one of season 7’s most epic, jaw-droppingly WTF? moments, wherein everyone across the globe simultaneously screamed “Noooooooo!” at the very sight of the Night King riding on top of Dany’s beloved Viserion, resurrected in wight form.
Buy it now $27.99 in the US
Buy it now £21.40 in the UK
Ever fancied cosplaying Arya Stark’s vengeance road trip across Westeros? Well, I wouldn’t remotely encourage the actual violence, dressing up as the young Stark for Halloween might be a worthy substitute. Of course, how could you step out of the house without her signature weapon? This foam version of Needle is sturdy enough to go trick or treating with, and to lightly thwok those people who give out fruit.
Buy it now $29.99 in the US
Buy it now £22.90 in the UK
"I drink and I know things" pint glass
Tyrion’s penchant for booze goes unrivalled in Westeros. His delight in getting soused is part of his allure, part of what makes him so darned likeable. Celebrate your love of arguably the best Lannister ever AND a good ale with this classy piece of glassware. It features one of Tyrion’s best one-liners yet that’s pretty hard to dispute. After all, you seldom see him journey anywhere in Westeros without a satchel of wine and a good book, do you?
Buy it now $20.98 in the US
Buy it now £9.95 in the UK
King's Landing Cityscape puzzle
Puzzles might seem like something you only do on a rainy day. It’s a fair assessment of many childhood afternoons. But c’mon, would I fob you off with a boring jigsaw? Nah! This is the best Game of Thrones merchandise I’m talking about. Build up King’s Landing piece-by-piece in a very ambitious 4-D cityscape that allows you to send anyone you like on that walk of shame. The most interesting detail is the 4th dimension aspect being “time, represented by a poster that details history.” Told you it was ambitious.
Buy it now $29.84 in the US
Buy it now £17.84 in the UK
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Night King mask
Okay, okay, so I’ve already convinced you to go as Arya for Halloween. But what if you’re not feeling it but still want to pay your respects to Thrones? Easy. Go as the Night King. With this cunning mask, you won’t have to paint your face with chalk, or spend hours sticking your finger in your eye trying to put those icy blue contacts in. Nope. Simply slip this latex mask over your head and terrify everyone you encounter.
Buy it now $49.95 in the US
Buy it now £32.92 in the UK
Grey wind plushie
Ghost is cute, sure. But let’s share the love for the rest of the Stark kids’ Direwolves. No, not Nymeria. No, not Lady. No, I’m on about Robb Stark’s Grey Wind! What do you mean, WHO? He’s the sweetest of the bunch, who did not deserve to meet such a cruel end. Snag this plushie version of him and give it all the cuddles.
Buy it now $19.95 in the US
Buy it now £26.71 in the UK
Hodor door stop
Now THIS is genius. Only a dedicated Thrones fan could cook up a piece of merchandise that takes one of the series’ most heart-breaking moments and transforms it into a handy item, ideal for day-to-day use. Hodor’s tragic ending, which revealed that his name was actually a garbled amalgam of “Hold the door”, inspires this door stop. See, he’s saying “hold the door” and this door stop HOLDS THE DOOR! A bit on the nose? Yeah, but it’s reet good.
Buy it now $18.45 in the US
Buy it now £5.95 in the UK
Hand of the King bottle opener
As the mantle that’s passed from Jon Arryn to Ned Stark to Tyrion Lannister, it’s safe to say that the honour of the Hand of the King is… well, it’s a bit risky, isn’t it? If you don’t end up poisoned or beheaded, then you’re exiled from your home and ostracised from your family. No wonder Tyrion likes a drink. That’s what makes this a perfect gift for either yourself or a pal who enjoys a tipple. It’s a reminder that no matter what stresses or strains you’re dealing with, at least you’ve got a nifty Hand of the King bottle opener, to brighten one of life’s most arduous tasks.
Buy it now $16.99 in the US
Buy it now £14.99 in the UK
A feast of Ice and Fire cookbook
Of all the things Game Of Thrones has given us - blood, guts, endless backstabbing - one of its nicer, more homely aspects is the food. Aye. Pretty much every wedding so far on the show has been decked out with enough marinated meat to make Jamie Oliver’s menus look vegetarian. But it’s not all about the carnivores, as shown in this excellent Westerosi-inspired cookbook, that brings to life all sorts of culinary treats spotted on the show. You can try making your own version of Hot Pie’s direwolf bread or, as is mentioned in the official description, “indulge in honeyfingers with Daenerys Targaryen”. Thought this was a cookbook, but it is Thrones, so I’m not surprised they’ve weedled in a bit of smut.
Buy it now $23.79 in the US
Buy it now £18.20 in the UK
Brienne of Tarth Funko Rock candy
A variation on your typical Funko Pop, this is actually a Funko Rock Candy figure. So, what’s the diff? For starters, it’s taller than Pops, and that’s kinda important when depicting one of the tallest characters on the show. Yes, this Brienne Rock Candy figure clocks in at 5”. It doesn’t quite capture her towering presence yet it’s a damn good effort, that includes a completely different type of face from the Pops. In short? Get this for your collection, before it gets vaulted.
Buy it now $6.73 in the US
Buy it now £11.04 in the UK
The Hound helmet
You’d look great in The Hound’s helmet. Now there’s a sentence I didn’t think I’d write today - but golly, do I mean it! In case you’ve not noticed, in my eyes the best Game of Thrones merchandise is stuff you can wear on Halloween. Or for your gran’s birthday party. This helmet is no different! Plus, the cool thing about Sandor Clegane’s chosen piece of headgear is that you can pretend you’re one of three people underneath it: regular Hound, zombie Hound or Louis Tully from Ghostbusters. Brilliant.
Buy it now $64.95 in the US
Buy it now £51.99 in the UK
Game of Thrones Cluedo
The Monopoly version of Thrones is OK for staving off the post-Christmas dinner snooze, but not by much. If you really want to play a game that puts you right in the crime-ridden heart of Westeros, it’s Game of Thrones Cluedo. I mean, where else do you get to triumph from all the senseless murder that kicks off in the Seven Kingdoms? Put your sleuthing skills to good use, and say what you wanted to say for the whole of season three: “Littlefinger, poison, wedding.”
Buy it now $35.86 in the US
Buy it now £22.98 in the UK
Jon Snow's wallet
Do you remember when Jon Snow was stabbed to death by those duplicitous gits from The Night’s Watch? Of course you do. But what we didn’t see onscreen was when those double-crossers went and stole the poor dead bastard’s wallet! Well, they must have because according to the official Game of Thrones merch crew Jon Snow has a wallet, as it’s been lovingly recreated here. It’s got lots of card slots, 7 in total actually, to count for each of the seven kingdoms! It’s also made of vegan leather and features the hilt of Jon’s trusty weapon Longclaw. That’s his sword.
Buy it now $16.99 in the US
Buy it now £12.98 in the UK
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