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11. Book launch
Why it's cringeworthy: Mark's response to Jeremy, who comforts him about the whole abysmal affair by saying "it's just one of those things", sums this up nicely: "One of those things where a cherished dream is smashed into your face and you're humiliated in front of everyone you know?" It only gets worse when he addresses the crowd.
10. Mark's confession
As seen in: "New Year's Eve" (Season 7, Episode 6)
The moment: Spurred on by Johnson and Jeff at a New Year's Eve party, Mark reluctantly admits that he's "had his dick in the dob" -- referring to the fact that he's slept with Dobby.
Why it's cringeworthy: The whole confession is overheard by Dobby who was creeping up behind Mark the whole time.
9. Jez's pizza
As seen in: "Nether Zone" (Season 7, Episode 4)
The moment: The morning of Mark's son's christening, he and Jez find themselves stuck in the foyer at Zahra's, between her flat and the front door of the building. With no keys and no phones.
Why it's cringeworthy: Jez orders a pizza that he manages to pull through the letterbox, wherein it becomes coated with random hairs and his own piss (he relieved himself through the flap). He eats it anyway.
8. Gatecrashers
As seen in: "The Party" (Season 6, Episode 5)
The moment: A bunch of uninvited guests arrive at Mark's pre-baby party, and proceed to eat all of his homemade lasagne and drink his booze.
Why it's cringeworthy: Mark being Mark won't permit uninvited guests, "If it were just us and them, it'd be a police matter," he explains to Jez. After confronting one of them, Mark tings his glass and announces to the entire congregation that he'd prefer it if no-one spoke to the two crashers for the rest of the night.
7. Phone sex
As seen in: "Sectioning" (Season 3, Episode 2)
The moment: With Sophie working away, she and Mark spice up their long-distance love life by engaging in phone sex.
Why it's cringeworthy: Mark's scramble to fire up a rousing exchange falters when he clumsily asks Sophie "Have you got nice... tits?" and follows it up with an even worse comeback.
6. Mark woos Sophie via voicemail
As seen in: "The Interview" (Season 1, Episode 2)
The moment: In the early stages of their courtship Mark decides to leave Sophie a romantic voicemail.
Why it's cringeworthy: While his effort is valiant, his message trails off once he starts singing, turning a sweet gesture into a non-committal serenade. "And then I go and spoilt it all by saying something like.... I like you."
5. Jeremy soils himself
As seen in: "Wedding" (Season 4, Episode 6)
The moment: Mere moments before Mark is about to walk down the aisle and marry Sophie, he checks in with his best pal, Jeremy who won't shut up about how desperate he is for the toilet.
Why it's cringeworthy: After Mark knocks him back when he asks to "piss in the prayer bucket," Jez argues simultaneously with Mark about why he doesn't want to pee his pants while peeing his pants. The subsequent leakage then starts to drip through the floorboards, splattering the hat of a guest seated below.
4. Dinner with the folks
As seen in: "Seasonal Beatings" (Season 7, Episode 5)
The moment: Christmas at the flat turns into a complete disaster thanks to Mark's dad who quickly becomes furious at the absence of cauliflower that he insists is traditional. Dobby pipes up that it's actually not traditional. Mark's dad asks his son to put a muzzle on his woman.
Why it's cringeworthy: Everyone sits around the table aghast at the comment, and yet Mark cannot summon his spine to defend his girlfriend. "I notice I'm not saying anything," his inner self narrates.
3. Parental avoidance
As seen in: "St. Hospitals" (Season 7, Episode 1)
The moment: Mark freaks out during Sophie's labour and cooks up an excuse to make a quick exit. He somehow justifies in his mind that it's OK to leave her alone through the delivery of his child..
Why it's cringeworthy: Testament to Mark's utter self-serving nature, he casually stops at games arcade then woefully makes his way back to the hospital. Not before he wastes more time and grabs a bucket of fried chicken.
2. Jeremy recalls the bad thing
As seen in: "Mark Makes A Friend" (Season 1, Episode 4)
The moment: While Mark and Jez are watching gay porn to ascertain the extent of Mark's alleged homosexuality, Jez remembers his forgotten drug-addled incident with Super Hans known as "the bad thing."
Why it's cringeworthy: The look of horror on Jez's face as the memory returns: he and Super Hans gave each other blow jobs.
