Battle Royale: Movie Vs TV Dinosaurs

To celebrate Ice Age 3 evolving into cinemas, we've decided to bring together the biggest and crappest dinosaurs in movie and telly history for a big toothy tussle.

These leathery lunatics can’t wait to snap and gnash their way into fight history, so we’re going to open the massive arena doors and see which dino makes it out of the enormous coliseum without getting made extinct…

Spitting Dinosaur - Jurassic Park (1993)

Barney The Dinosaur - Barney & Friends (1992)

Next: Rex Vs. Dino


Rex - Toy Story (1995)

Dino - The Flintsones (1960)

Next: Carnosaur Vs. Earl


Carnosaur  - Carnosaur (1993)

Shirt Collection: 0

Earl Sinclair – Dinosaurs (1991)

Shirt Collection: 10

Next: Godzilla Vs. Godzooky


Godzilla - Godzilla (1954 - 1998)

Godzooky - Godzilla (1978)

Next: Theodore Rex Vs. Denver The Last Dinosaur


Theodore Rex - Theodore Rex (1995)

Theodore Rex probably signalled the exact moment that Hollywood decided to give up on original ideas, turning to sequels and remakes instead.

And if original thought leads to a buddy cop partnership involving Whoopi Goldberg and a talking dinosaur in a vest, maybe remakes are for the best.

Human Traits Score: 10

Unexpectedly Straight-To-Video Factor: 10

Fashion Sense: 3

Denver - Denver The Last Dinosaur (1988)

Next: T-Rex Vs. T.Rex


T-Rex - Jurassic Park (1993)

T. Rex - Top Of The Pops (1970)

Unfortunately, Steven asks ET to pilot the time machine, the little chap gets a bit confused and he taps in the wrong co-ordinates on the journey home with his massive finger.

The boys end up in the Top Of The Pops studio while T. Rex are performing their hit single Ride A White Swan.

Feeling peckish, the T-Rex decides to go for a Currie (Steve), chomps down on the soon to be ironically named keyboardist Dino Dines, before having Marc Bolan as an elaborately garnished pud.

Spielberg shoves the Rex back into the time machine, resolving to go back and put history right, when he needs new dinosaurs for Jurassic Park 2.

Unfortunately, the event is televised and creates a butterfly effect that changes the space-time continuum, leading to the events documented in this NSFW video.

Being A Total Bad-Ass Score: 0

Hit Singles Score: 7

Cross-Dressing Factor: 10

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Sam Ashurst is a London-based film maker, journalist, and podcast host. He's the director of Frankenstein's Creature, A Little More Flesh + A Little More Flesh 2, and co-hosts the Arrow Podcast. His words have appeared on HuffPost, MSN, The Independent, Yahoo, Cosmopolitan, and many more, as well as of course for us here at GamesRadar+.