Videogame crime report, 2007

Date: 13th November, 2007

Location: Syracuse, New York

Crime: Assault and attempted theft

Details: Two teens beat a man to the ground for his PSP

Forget battery life, there’s nowan even better reason to use your PSP indoors. It used to be that the biggest danger of handheld gaming on the move was the risk of being turned into road pizza while distractedly crossing the street deep in button-mashing concentration. Now though, that’s the least of your worries.

Joseph Morales was innocently watching a movie on his PSP while waiting to visit the library when two sixteen year olds accosted him and demanded the console. When he refused to hand over his baby, he was rewarded for his defiance with a savage beating which ended with him on the ground receiving a stout kick to the head. Undeterred, Morales continued to grip his PSP, steadfastly denying it to his assailants. What can we say, the guy is hardcore.

The attack was eventually broken up when a member of the public stepped in. Both boys left the area, but were caught and ended up facing police charges. Damn right too. You don’t mess with a man’s console.