George of the Jungle and the Search for the Secret review

You know how when you’re going through a traumatic experience, time seems to slow down as you take in the full horror of what’s happening? For the first five minutes, we sort of thought that was happening with George of the Jungle. It’s a side-scrolling platform game, but George bounces along (feet not touching the ground, of course) at such a slow-ass pace it’s almost like he’s deliberately trying to upset Sir Isaac Newton. When he pulls a block it seems to take forever: when he fights a gorilla it’s like watching ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper’s seven-minute fight scene from They Live in tortuous slow motion.

Maybe it’s all a ploy to make the game easier for stupid kids, but as El Tigre proves, you don’t actually need to do that - kids will adapt to any challenge you give them. In other words, if you give them George of the Jungle, you’d better be ready to be tying their shoelaces for them when they’re 15.

Mar 28, 2008