61 terrible videogame shirts you must never wear

Being a gamer and getting laid more than once during a President’s time in office is enough trouble, but try doing so while wearing a sexually suggestive shirt that involves game characters. Sexual partners will be running from you when they see you equate intimacy with a goofy gaming reference.

Also, want to prove that you have never “scored” in your life? Wear a shirt featuring Luigi or Pac-Man that says you have.

Nearly 30 years ago, Oliver Stone, Brian De Palma, Al Pacino and some other people made a loud, violent and entertaining thing called Scarface. Ever since then, people have been quoting it in the understanding that it’s silly and an easy joke that everyone can recognize. It stopped being funny in 1987, and ever since it just shows you’re a lazy, uncreative douche that identifies with a sexist, murderous drug addict with a terribly fake accent. Fine, whatever, ha ha, we get it. We got it 15 years ago, we got it five years ago, and we got it last week when someone said “cock-a-roach.” And we certainly get it on these shirts:

So now that we all understand that we get it, can we just move on from Scarface, please? There have been other funny, campy, over-the-top films from the last decade that are more worthy of adoration and basing shirts on. What aboutThe Room or Nicolas Cage’s The Wicker Man? Anything but Scarface, for the love of Christ!

In spite of all the uncreative, overexposed shirts that lazily cover internet retailers, one shirt in particular is lousy in its frequent appearances. We have actually never seen this shirt worn, but we were sick of it the second time we saw it, let alone the ninth time.

And these were just the shirts we found after a few days of searching. There must be more out there. Who created this shirt that won’t die? We aren’t sure, but it must end. Please, do not buy this shirt, and if you own it, burn it immediately. Much like a virus or a zombie plague, it must be wiped out with prejudice, or it will envelop the globe. You have been warned.

May 7, 2010