We like telly at totalfilm.com but we don't get a chance to talk about it much, what with most of it having nothing to do with movies.
So, this weekend, in between gawping at the glow-box in disbelief when the BBC announced the new Doctor Who (if only it had been Statham!) we were watching a genuine movie star take his first steps into British TV history. How? We think Verne Troyer will win CBB. Here's why.
He's instantly likeable
By far the biggest cheer of opening night came when Verne's name was announced, and for good reason. His video interview was the most down to earth, charming and funny of the night.
He's arguably the most famous celebrity in the house, but he went in without a hint of ego. That's the sort of thing we like 'round these parts.
He's got a tattoo in honour of Heath Ledger
Nothing wins our phone votes quicker than a permanent tribute to our favourite Joker and Verne's got one.
It's a tattoo of a heart-shaped doodle Legder drew on the set of The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnissius. Troyer's a big fan of Ledger, which makes us a big fan of him.
He does his own stunts
He was Mini-Me.
Some celebrities roll their eyes when fans ask them to quote their favourite lines from the biggest movies of their careers. Not Verne - he was happy to enact all the brilliant bits from Austin Powers with someone called Ben from something called A1, without being the slightest bit annoyed.
Ask Coolio to recite the words from Gangster's Paradise and see how far you get.
So far, he's dealt with being surrounded by patronising idiots with dignity and grace
For some reason, the other celebrities in the Big Brother house seem to think that a) Verne needs help with everything and b) this fact must be incredibly offensive to him, and so it should be discussed as often as possible.
The lowest point of this weird phenomena came when, after Verne said that he wants to be as independent as possible, Ulrika Johnson replied she understood completely, because she's had a bad back recently.
Look at the competition
A page-three stunner, a bloke who hasn't had a hit since 1995, a couple of mime artists, and Terry Christian ? They might as well sit Verne down for his winner's chat with Davina now and be done with it.
