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The Creeper Jeepers Creepers (2001)
Venom Spider-Man 3 (2007)
The Villain: Director Sam Raimi famously didn’t want him in the film, but the studio pulled rank and so Venom was squeezed into this already packed threequel.
Enter Topher Grace as a totally miscast Eddie Brock. In the comics, Brock’s meant to be twice the size of Peter Parker. Here we get a watered down mythology mess-up that killed Raimi’s Spidey series.
Crappest Moment: Venom has a little chat with Sandman in an alleyway, and the symbiot mask peels back to reveal Brock’s fanged face.
Terl Battlefield Earth (2000)
The Villain: A dreadlock-haired giant alien Psychlo, Terl (John Travolta) is a wilfully mean security chief who’s desperate to get off Earth – but is stuck there after an incident with the Senator’s daughter.
He gets some of the worst lines of dialogue you’ve ever heard, and Travolta camps it up something chronic.
Crappest Moment: One of many, but the scene in which Terl demands more green (b)ooze shows off not only the fist-in-mouth direlogue, but also Travolta’s unbelievably OTT delivery of it .
It’s almost so bad it’s good. Almost.
King Galbatorix Eragon (2006)
The Villain: Easily one of the dullest on this list, despite being played by the magnificent John Malkovich, King Galbatorix does basically nothing for the entire 99 minute running time.
Aside from slump in his throne and mope…
Crappest Moment: Every moment he appears on screen.
No, really.
King Koopa Super Mario Bros (1993)
The Villain: In the games, King Koopa was a big, hulking lizard with a particularly girly crown on his head.
In this low-rent movie adaptation, he’s played by a lizard-tongued Dennis Hopper at a serious low point in his career.
Crappest Moment: Any time he yells “Goomba!”
Gingerdead Man The Gingerdead Man (2005)
The Villain: Wacko serial killer Millard Findlemeyer (Gary Busey) is finally caught and strapped into the electric chair.
Only as fate would have it, ridiculous plot twists land his spirit in the crumbly form of a gingerbread man. And Findlemeyer decides it’s time for another massacre…
Crappest Moment: “Eat me, you punk bitch.”
Findlemeyer gets his comeuppance when he’s eaten. Mmm, jammy .
Laurel Hedare Catwoman (2004)
The Villain: The film’s an absolute travesty, but the minds behind this standalone Catwoman adventure at least had the sense to hire a badass actress to play the villain.
Except even Sharon Stone can’t save her wretched character, the CEO of a corrupt cosmetics company whose new product makes women’s faces fall apart if they stop using it.
Crappest Moment: Going claw-to-claw with Catwoman, only to be chucked out the window…
Dennis Nedry Jurassic Park (1993)
The Villain: A layabout nerd who makes us nerds all look really, really bad, Dennis Nedry is Jurassic Park’s chief computer programmer.
He’s also working for rival corporation BioSyn and is planning on stealing dino embryos for them…
Crappest Moment: The perfect example of Nedry’s utter ignorance – he works at a dinosaur park, yet he doesn’t know a Dilophosaurus when he sees one.
We’re glad they ate him.
Mr Freeze Batman & Robin (1997)
The Villain: Unlike the tortured character of the comics, Joel Schumacher’s version of Mr Freeze (as played by Arnold Schwarzenegger) is a total joke.
No really, all he does is jest and pun as he goes about turning Gotham into a twinkly wonderland.
Crappest Moment: “Tonight’s forecast; a freeeeeze is coming.”
Give over.
Nuclear Man Superman IV: The Quest For Peace (1987)
The Villain: Supposedly a clone of Superman, Nuclear Man’s created by Lex Luther (Gene Hackman) as the Kryptonian’s ultimate foe.
In reality, he’s a camp dummy with a lousy costume – and an OTT lust for the ladies.
Crappest Moment: Nuclear Man gets one over on Superman by, get this, scratching him with his blingin’, radioactive nails.
All together now: How low can you go?
