50 Greatest Woody Allen Characters

Jimmy Bond

The Character: James Bond's nephew in Casino Royale , masquerading as SMERSH boss Dr Noah in order to kill all men taller than him so he can get all the girls.

Best Line: "You can't shoot me! I have a very low threshold of death. My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time."

How Woody-Esque? The film's a mess, but this is a revealing portrait of how others saw Woody in the early days of his film career.


The Character: Woody's foil in Small Time Crooks is a dumb broad... with aspirations to being classy. Covers all the bases for a Woody Allen character, then.

Best Line: "I won't be held back mentally by some overage juvenile delinquent."

How Woody-Esque? Woody barely gets a look-in as Tracey Ullman seizes the chance to shine in a rare leading film role.


The Character: New York gangster whose flirtation with the theatre in Bullets Over Broadway reveals an undiscovered gift as a playwright.

Best Line: "What am I? A fuckin' idiot? They taught me how to read and write in school before I burned it down." (He then clarifies: "it was Lincoln's birthday. There was nobody there.")

How Woody-Esque? In Woody's imagination, just about everybody wants to write like he can.


The Character: Woody Allen as a kid, basically… played by Seth Green in the director's autobiographical account of growing up, Radio Days .

Best Line: "Oh God, we're all going straight to hell!"

How Woody-Esque? The only way Joe could be more Woody-esque is if they went back and time and snatched the young Allan Konisberg off the streets.


The Character: Robot dog in Sleeper given to Miles Monroe. We still don't know if he's house-broken or if he'll leave little batteries all over the floor.

Best Line: "Woof woof woof. Hello, I'm Rags."

How Woody-Esque? Rags' vocabulary is too limited for one-liners.


The Character: Robin Williams cameos as one of the eponymous writer's creations in Deconstructing Harry - an actor who has "gone soft," because he is constantly out of focus.

Best Line: "It's not an allergic reaction."

How Woody-Esque? A classic Woody gag - incredibly cinematic, yet loaded with psychological subtext.


The Character: A fictional woman becomes the subject of a dinner party debate, as two playwrights reshape her life into two - Melinda And Melinda - a comedy and a tragedy.

Best Line: Telling love interest Hobie about an ex-lover who "knew how to touch me," he asks, "you mean emotionally?" "No," Melinda replies, "with his hands."

How Woody-Esque? Often, when a woman gets the lead role in an Allen film, it's a drama ( Interiors , Another Woman ). This one is closer to the director's nature by offering two sides of the coin.

Dr Ross

The Character: Gene Wilder's doctor falls in love with a sheep in Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex* (*But Were Afraid To Ask) .

Best Line: Caught by his wife with the sex, Ross tries to deflect by telling her, "This is Mrs. Bencours, one of my patients. She thinks she's a sheep."

How Woody-Esque? Woody's sex life would eventually become the source of tabloid gossip...but bestiality? No.

Gil Pender

The Character: Unfulfilled screenwriter who finds a new life - literally - when he realises that when it turns Midnight In Paris he can travel back to the 1920s.

Best Line: "Wonderful but forgettable. It sounds like a film I've seen. I probably wrote it."

How Woody-Esque? Owen Wilson doesn't look the part, but the actor's hesitant speaking style effortlessly apes Woody's shtick.

Duane Hall

The Character: Annie Hall's mentally disturbed brother - a memorable bit-part by a pre-fame Christopher Walken.

Best Line: "Sometimes when I'm driving... on the road at night... I see two headlights coming toward me. Fast. I have this sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering glass. The... flames rising out of the flowing gasoline."

How Woody-Esque? A crazier, creepier version of Woody's own neuroses.