Kidnapper in Chief
Leatherface
The Film: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D
The Villain: That’s right, the Lone Star State’s most famour wack-job is back for one more go-around, and this time he’ll be terrorising teens in 3D. Dan Yeager will play the latest incarnation of old Leatherface, in what we hope turns out to be more than just a cynical cash-in…
How Scary: We’ve almost grown fond of the gibbering man-child by now! Almost…
Onza
The Film: Casa De Mi Padre
The Villain: Gael Garcia Bernal plays a violent drug lord who comes to claim the farm of Armando Alvarez (Will Ferrell), when younger brother Raul (Diego Luna) fails to pay the gangster what he owes. Things are about to get a bit lairy down Mexico way…
How Scary: Not nearly scary enough to put the wind up Armando, who saddles up and prepares for war.
Darth Maul
The Film: Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace 3D
The Villain: This year’s re-release provided a timely reminder that Ray Park’s Darth Maul was probably the best thing in the entire prequel trilogy, with the dual-lightsaber battle a rare high point in a train-wreck of a movie.
How Scary: Badass rather than scary. He’s no Vader, after all…
Adam
The Film: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
The Villain: Rufus Sewell plays chief vampire Adam, a 5,000-year-old bloodsucker who’s only too willing to put the aex-swinging President through his paces. Sewell describes him as, “a man’s man… a cigar room dealmaker who just happens to be king of the vampires.”
How Scary: Think (early) True Blood rather than Twilight . He’s a vampire with teeth…
Santana
The Film: Untitled Riddick Sequel
The Villain: Santana is the leader of a group of mercenaries charged with tracking down Riddick and bringing him to justice… by killing him. Jordi Molla might have missed out on Star Trek ’s Big Bad, but he’ll have his hands full facing off against Vin Diesel here…
How Scary: He’s only in it for the money, which automatically makes him less scary than if he was just out for blood…
Sab Than
The Film: John Carter
The Villain: Sab Than is the arrogant King of Zodanga, who is determined to destroy the city of Helium and rule Barsoom himself. Promoting war as a way of life to his minions, he’ll spill as much blood as is necessary to accelerate his rise to power.
How Scary: Utterly unconcerned by the value of life, Sab Than will go through anyone or anything that stands in his way. The bastard.
Wreck-It Ralph
The Film: Wreck-It Ralph
The Villain: Ralph is the villain of a videogame called Fix-It Felix, but he’s tired of playing the bad guy, and jumps ship to a different title in order to help fight off alien invaders. However, his antics soon unleash a bigger threat which could jeopardise every game in the arcade…
How Scary: Not very, once you look beneath the surface. He’s a hero, just waiting for the opportunity to save the day!
Cobra Commander
The Film: G.I. Joe: Retaliation
The Villain: The head of terrorist organisation Cobra, which now has all the world’s leaders under its control after the Joes are framed as traitors to their country. Fortunately, Bruce Willis and The Rock are on hand to ensure that evil does not prevail unchallenged…
How Scary: Extremely, given that he has every major world leader eating out of the palm of his hand. And as if that wasn’t enough, he’s pretty handy in a fight as well…
Andrew
The Film: Chronicle
The Villain: What happens when a teenage outsider with an extremely messed-up home life suddenly finds himself armed with super-powers? Bad things, that’s what. Angry young men should not be able to crush cars using telekinesis. It’s a recipe for disaster.
How Scary: Look at that expression, and tell us he’s not a teensy bit unsettling…
