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  2. Movies

5 TV Shows That Wouldnt Work As Movies

By Andy Lowe
published 25 November 2008

When small screen into silver screen won’t go…

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Top Gear

Top Gear

Starring: Steve Coogan as Jeremy Clarkson, Bill Nighy as James May, Ewan McGregor as Richard Hammond, Ben Stiller as The Stig

The pitch: Three men with bad hair argue and mess about with cars. It’s The Fast And The Furious for the middle-aged.

The glitch: Even an IMAX screen would struggle to contain Clarkson’s ego.

Page 1 of 5
Page 1 of 5
Deal Or No Deal

Deal Or No Deal

Starring: Richard Attenborough as Noel Edmonds

The pitch: Edmonds is the fiendish, Joker/Jigsaw-esque mastermind who sends his victims boxes which contain either details of their grisly fate or some money.

The glitch: There’d have to be a stupid, budget-busting twist where the studio is revealed to be the contents of a big box held by a giant, bearded, God-like Edmonds.

Page 2 of 5
Page 2 of 5
Antiques Roadshow

Antiques Roadshow

Starring: Kristin Scott Thomas as That Woman Who Used To Be On The News

The pitch: That Woman Who Used To Be On The News is a woman archaeologist who rescues old people’s old junk from Nazi collectors and then watches while experts tell them how much it isn’t worth.

The glitch: George Lucas would ruin it by setting it on the moon or something.

Page 3 of 5
Page 3 of 5
Strictly Come Dancing

Strictly Come Dancing

Starring: David Hasselhoff as Bruce Forsyth, Sienna Miller as Tess Daly

The pitch: An elderly man lurks in the shadows as sprightly youngsters in spangly costumes prance around to jaunty music. Could be a sort of Wizard Of Oz redux, only more frightening.

The glitch: Bruce is a real wizard and, as consultant, would disrupt the set by doing seduction spells on the girls.

Page 4 of 5
Page 4 of 5
The News

The News

Starring: Tom Hanks as Huw Edwards

The pitch: An intrepid but dull explorer searches the world for the truth. He then sits behind a desk and explains his findings. A bit like The Da Vinci Code with a desk.

The glitch: Would have to wait until Hugh Grant's career is sufficiently hopeless for him to agree to play the desk.

Page 5 of 5
Page 5 of 5
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