Is that your face?
More and more games give you the option to customize your character's appearance, but you're usually better off sticking with the pre-made suggestions. Sure, you could drop a few hours into tweaking sliders and prodding at palettes until you've made a perfect recreation of your (theoretical) lovechild with Chris Evans but once you get her in the game, you'll probably realize the lighting was off and she actually has jaundiced skin and a severe overbite.
Thankfully for all of us, there's a better way: stop fighting the creepiness. Let the 'randomize' button do its work and then throw a few sliders to the maximum just for good measure. You'll come up with instantly memorable results in a tenth of the time and I'll have plenty of fodder for another article just like this one. Until then, let's bask in the glory of some of the strangest creatures to emerge from character generation.
Oblivion has a great personality
This guy looks like the failed result of a cloning experiment that used frog DNA to reconstruct incomplete parts of Hugo Weaving's genome. Life found a way (it always does), but in this case that way also led to asymetrical bug eyes, a nose that's threatening to soar off its face and into the stratosphere, and curiously well-oiled hair. But, really, I could have taken a screenshot of anybody in The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion and used it here. It's damn near impossible to make a Hero of Kvatch who doesn't look like they have a rotten cabbage atop their neck.
Frog Hero by rhcpliker (opens in new tab)
Mass Effect didn't come back quite right
"Ugh, I know Miranda did her best on the Lazarus Project, but Shepard isn't the same since he came back from the dead. No, no, it's not just the scars. It's everything. The mouth, the nose, the eyes... God, the eyes! Whenever he looks at me it feels like he's trying to figure out which parts to eat first and which to save for breakf - what are you looking at Oh. Oh. H-h-hello, Commander."
Creepy Shepard by BoominBlox (opens in new tab)
The Dragon Age Inquisitor is pretty (horrifying) in pink
OK, so the last one was obvious. Everybody's seen some off-kilter Shepards. Clearly BioWare wouldn't let it happen again in Dragon Age: Inquisition, right? Well. Hm. First we have to determine whether this guy is an elf, or if his ears just do that. And, to be fair, he'd still look like some kind of deep-sea terror even without them. Actually, you know what this Inquisitor is? He's what would happen if Patrick Nagel (opens in new tab) drew a clown instead of Joan Collins.
Clownquisitor by altairre (opens in new tab)
Saints Row: The Third is rubbing elbows with the greats
Who's that walking next to Shaundi? No, not the elbow, that's Pierce. I had to cut him out of the image so I could give you a better look at whoever that is next to Shaundi. Is that a grown-up Chucky from Child's Play? No, no, Chucky's a doll, he couldn't grow up. Is it Carrot Top after an unsuccessful start to his boxing career? Ah, no, I know who that must be. That's Frida Kahlo's second cousin once removed, Frodo Kahlo. Shaundi always did appreciate the arts.
Frodo Kahlo by rasugaming (opens in new tab)
It takes all kinds to make a Tiger Woods PGA Tour
Oh, no, sorry. There's Chucky. Seems like he's taken up golf and dyed his hair brown, but that's probably just in accordance with PGA regulations. Hey, if hitting the links keeps him from killing babysitters, it sounds fine to me. Looking good out there, Chuck!
Source unknown, probably a bog somewhere
Demon's Souls is feeling frisky
Source unknown, but wherever it is, I like it
Dark Souls deserves congratulations
Dark Souls is another one of those games where it's a challenge to make something that doesn't look like a Stretch Armstrong figure post-microwave - it's probably a bigger feat to make a decent-looking dude than to finish the game with him. But this guy is unique, in that I think he might actually look better with the wrinkly, rotten skin of a Hollow. At least you could tell where his cheeks ended and his eye sockets began. Until then, all I can imagine is something that got cut out of Evangelion because they thought it would it would confuse people too much.
Human Instrumentality Man by hehu42 (opens in new tab)
NFL 2K is all sour about something
I really shouldn't make fun of this guy. He finally makes it as a pro football player only to get stung by 30 bees swarming his face. To add insult to grievous injury, Bugs Bunny then tricks him into sucking up a bunch of liquid alum with a straw so his mouth gets frozen in a permanent pucker. Then he notices his girlfriend making out with his best friend on the sidelines and is rightfully angry and hurt. It was just not a good day to appear in a video game.
Bad day pro by IMACOMPUTA (opens in new tab)
The Sims 3 is beautiful on the inside
Have you ever seen one of those Korean horror movies where the protagonist's obsession with her own beauty eventually causes her undoing? And there's usually some horrible, deformed creature that symbolizes the path she's heading down if she keeps focusing on her looks to the exclusion of her friends and family (or maybe it's actually the spirit of a classmate she accidentally killed in high school)? That's pretty much this Sim's entire life. Great hair, though.
K-Horror Sim by eiahmon (opens in new tab)