Skip to main content
Games Radar
  • Newsarama
  • Total Film
  • Edge
  • Retro Gamer
  • SFX
Total Film The smarter take on movies
Sign in
  • View Profile
  • Sign out
flag of UK
UK
flag of US
US
flag of Canada
Canada
flag of Australia
Australia
  • News
  • Reviews
  • Features
  • More
    • PS5
    • Xbox Series X
    • Nintendo Switch
    • Nintendo Switch 2
    • PC
    • Platforms
    • Tabletop Gaming
    • Comics
    • Toys & Collectibles
    • SFX
    • Newsarama
    • Retro Gamer
    • Newsletters
    • About us
    • Features
Gaming Magazines
Gaming Magazines
Why subscribe?
  • Subscribe from just £3
  • Takes you closer to the games, movies and TV you love
  • Try a single issue or save on a subscription
  • Issues delivered straight to your door or device
From$12
View
Trending
  • Best Netflix Movies
  • Best movies on Disney Plus
  • Movie Release Dates
  • Best Netflix Shows
Recommended reading
M3GAN doll shushing Gemma in the final M3GAN 2.0 trailer
Horror Movies M3GAN 3 looks unlikely after new sequel M3GAN 2.0 malfunctions at box office
Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan in Rush Hour 3
Action Movies Karate Kid: Legends star Jackie Chan looks back on the divisive Rush Hour 3, and agrees it's the weakest movie in the franchise: "Too much money is no good"
Happy Death Day 2 U
Horror Movies Despite previously shooting down hopes for a Happy Death Day 3, it looks like director Christopher Landon is now "moving forward" with the horror sequel
Dr. Kelson welcoming Spike and Isla to the Bone Temple in Danny Boyle's zombie horror sequel 28 Years Later
Horror Movies 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple release date, cast, trailer, and everything else we know about the zombie horror sequel
Mamma Mia Here We Go Again
Movies Amanda Seyfried says sequels are "just for money and it's frustrating", but admits she would do Mamma Mia 3 "in a heartbeat"
Ralph Fiennes as Dr. Kelson in zombie horror sequel 28 Days Later
Horror Movies Danny Boyle's horror sequel 28 Years Later is proving to be all the Rage, as it earns higher Rotten Tomatoes score than the 2002 original
Bobby Campo and Shantel VanSanten in The Final Destination
Horror Movies Final Destination producer isn’t too shy to let fans know which movie is his least favorite: "I don’t think the fourth one is good at all"
  1. Entertainment
  2. Movies

13 Threequels We Could Have Done Without

Features
By Joshua Winning published 15 January 2010

Three ain't the magic number...

When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Here’s how it works.

Transformers 3

Transformers 3

The first, maybe. The second, meh. The third? You’re having a giraffe! Hasn’t Michael Bay run out of stuff to blow up?

When you find yourself nodding off during a film even when things! are! exploding! every! ten! seconds! you just know you’re in deep do-do.

Where the first Transformers at least flaunted some gentle Spielberg charm, the second was a vacuous, insulting, cigar-smoking car wreck.

How Could It Be Improved? Abort, Autobots. Abort before it’s too late!

Page 1 of 13
Page 1 of 13
Alien 3

Alien 3

It’s gone down in the movie history annuls as one of the most tortured productions, like, ever .

Which could be construed as the Movie Gods up in their Movie Olympus throwing 20th-Century-Fox-shaped lightning bolts at everybody involved to stop this one getting made.

It got made anyway.

Really, it’s not as bad as it could have been (after all, it’s not set on a wooden box), but it’s still a weak, anaemic, spluttering runt compared to its two predecessors.

How Could It Be Improved? Two words: James Cameron.

Page 2 of 13
Page 2 of 13
The Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor

The Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor

What does this tell you... Stephen Sommers had the sense to keep well away from this one.

Yeah, it’s that bad. The guy who directed flaccid first sequel The Mummy Returns refused to do anything more than produce this third entry (i.e. cash a rights paycheck), and with good reason.

It starts and ends with the script by Smallville writers Alfred Gough and Miles Millar, which is as creaky as the mummies it features. Shame, shame, shame.

How Could It Be Improved? Bury it under a pyramid for a thousand years and it might ripen with age.

Page 3 of 13
Page 3 of 13
Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Halloween III: Season of the Witch

No Michael Myers? No way!

You sort of have to admire the guts of producers John Carpenter and Debra Hill, who did away with their white-faced boogyman in the second Halloween and refused to resurrect him for a third.

Instead, they let Tommy Lee Wallace loose with this oddity, a story about a twisted toy manufacturer who has it in for America’s children.

Is it oddly genius/disturbing/ridiculous? Yes! Could we have done without it? Yes! Is it still a seasonal must? Yes!

How Could It Be Improved? Less Shamrock singing, more Tom Atkins.

Page 4 of 13
Page 4 of 13
Batman Forever

Batman Forever

After two Burton films spent sweltering under the latex, Michael Keaton let the franchise go and handed the Batmobile keys over to Val Kilmer instead.

Burton, in turn, let Joel Schumacher take the director’s chair. So...

Gone are the Gothic visuals, the villains with bite, and any sense of foreboding. Or, conversely, any morbid fun. Instead we’re drowned in neon frivolity and Tommy Lee Jones over-acting to within an inch of his life.

How Could It Be Improved? Remove Schumacher from the building and we’ll talk.

Page 5 of 13
Page 5 of 13
Jaws 3D

Jaws 3D

Here’s a fun fact for you.

The producers of the first two Jaws flicks originally pitched this turd, sorry, third murky monster movie as a spoof entitled Jaws 3, People 0 . Sounds sort of fun, right?

What we actually got was this 3D embarrassment, Joe Alves' first (and last) directing gig.

He’s the one who made the shark for the first Jaws . Which throws up all kinds of questions. Like: why does the shark look so shit in this one?!

How Could It Be Improved? We’re gonna need a better shark.

Page 6 of 13
Page 6 of 13
Look Who's Talking Now

Look Who's Talking Now

The kids have grown up, they no longer sound like Bruce Willis and Roseanne Arquette.

Who can we glean unexpected insight from via quirky voiceovers now?

Why, the pets! Enter Danny DeVito and Diane Keaton, sniffing their way around crotches, leaving little surprises on the carpet, generally making a nuisance of themselves.

And that was just in the recording room.

How Could It Be Improved? Less talking, more laughing.

Page 7 of 13
Page 7 of 13
The Matrix Revolutions

The Matrix Revolutions

By this point we’re so confused we’d be quite happy to just sit back and let the action and stonking soundtrack send pleasant vibrations through our weary bodies.

But people just keep talking.

About weird philosophy stuff. And computers, and existence. And they won’t shut up. And now not only are we bored, but our ears are bleeding, too.

What happened to the knowing smarts of the original Matrix ?

How Could It Be Improved? Take the blue pill. Trust us.

Page 8 of 13
Page 8 of 13
Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End

Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me. Or not, because, actually, being a pirate looks a bit rubbish.

Especially in this second sequel. For a start, Keith Richards is your dad. Shudder. Then you’re stranded in some weird limbo where there are millions of you (and, really, you’re quite annoying now, too).

For all the neat visuals and obvious labour put into this, it’s a shame that somebody forgot to call the Coherence Fairy to ask her to give the script a once over. That, or she’s fielding calls from Hollywood (we don’t blame her).

How Could It Be Improved? A lot ( a lot ) of rum.

Page 9 of 13
Page 9 of 13
Home Alone 3

Home Alone 3

This sequel was so delayed that original Kevin McCallister munchkin Macaulay Culkin was shaving, married and earning $50k a year by the time it came around.

Instead, we’re in the family home of Alex Pruitt, which is all very hi-tec and new, this being a house of the ‘90s. And, look, he’s the size of a small gerbil, but he’s still stronger than four grown adults. Gah!

Even though the late John Hughes wrote this, the formula’s tired. What’s wrong with letting your kids watch the original two-hander on repeat?

How Could It Be Improved? Kevin McAllister is banged up in juvi.

Page 10 of 13
Page 10 of 13
Superman 3

Superman 3

Ingredients for a Superman movie: Clark Kent. A big red S. Lois Lane. Peril: mild to extreme. Lex Luther. Kryptonite. John Williams’ score.

Did you see slapstick included anywhere in there? Then why the heck is it in this movie?!

Reducing poor old Margot Kidder to a mere cameo (then replacing her with bloody Annette O’Toole’s Lana Lang), exploiting Richard Pryor’s comedy to fill gulf-sized plotholes, and regurgitating plot points from the other better Superman s ( Supermen ?), Supe 3 is laughable in a moronic way and a slur on all things super.

How Could It Be Improved? Watch Supergirl instead. Much better.

Page 11 of 13
Page 11 of 13
The Godfather Part III

The Godfather Part III

Oh, Godfather 3 , just how much do we hate thee? Let us count the ways. Once, twice, thrice...

The term ‘flogging a dead horse’ was never more fitting considering the head incident in the first flick, and The Godfather Part III is a textbook case of a film series going one step too far despite itself.

The first sequel was a classic. Insurmountable, really. So why try surmount it?!

How Could It Be Improved? Oh Sofia, you’re just the easy target, aren’t you? Now please leave.

Page 12 of 13
Page 12 of 13
Spider-Man 3

Spider-Man 3

Too many cooks in the kitchen? It certainly felt that way with Sam Raimi’s third (and, evidently, last) bash at the Spiderverse.

Cramming in an elevator full of new characters while also attempting to tie up the threads left dangling by the first two Spidey s, Spider-Man 3 feels bloated and rushed.

Oh, and Peter Parker as an emo? Wince.

The real kick in the nads is that this is the last in the now ‘old’ Spider-Man movie trilogy. Raimi, we weep for you.

How Could It Be Improved? Reboot the franchise! Oh, wait... Dammit!

Page 13 of 13
Page 13 of 13
Joshua Winning
Social Links Navigation

Josh Winning has worn a lot of hats over the years. Contributing Editor at Total Film, writer for SFX, and senior film writer at the Radio Times. Josh has also penned a novel about mysteries and monsters, is the co-host of a movie podcast, and has a library of pretty phenomenal stories from visiting some of the biggest TV and film sets in the world. He would also like you to know that he "lives for cat videos..." Don't we all, Josh. Don't we all.  

See more Movies Features
Read more
M3GAN doll shushing Gemma in the final M3GAN 2.0 trailer
M3GAN 3 looks unlikely after new sequel M3GAN 2.0 malfunctions at box office
Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan in Rush Hour 3
Karate Kid: Legends star Jackie Chan looks back on the divisive Rush Hour 3, and agrees it's the weakest movie in the franchise: "Too much money is no good"
Happy Death Day 2 U
Despite previously shooting down hopes for a Happy Death Day 3, it looks like director Christopher Landon is now "moving forward" with the horror sequel
Dr. Kelson welcoming Spike and Isla to the Bone Temple in Danny Boyle's zombie horror sequel 28 Years Later
28 Years Later: The Bone Temple release date, cast, trailer, and everything else we know about the zombie horror sequel
Mamma Mia Here We Go Again
Amanda Seyfried says sequels are "just for money and it's frustrating", but admits she would do Mamma Mia 3 "in a heartbeat"
Ralph Fiennes as Dr. Kelson in zombie horror sequel 28 Days Later
Danny Boyle's horror sequel 28 Years Later is proving to be all the Rage, as it earns higher Rotten Tomatoes score than the 2002 original
Latest in Movies
Guy Gardner, Hawkgirl, and Mister Miracle as the Justice Gang in Superman
The Justice Gang explained - The non-Justice League in James Gunn's Superman may be influenced by team of classic DC supervillains
Crash Bandicoot PS1
Long before the Super Mario Bros. movie grossed $1.3 billion, Sega's president tried making a Crash Bandicoot movie but was told "video games is like a toy business"
James Gunn
James Gunn shares the most important Superman review yet - from the grandchildren of comic creator Jerry Siegel "This is the Superman movie we've been waiting to see"
M3GAN doll shushing Gemma in the final M3GAN 2.0 trailer
M3GAN 3 looks unlikely after new sequel M3GAN 2.0 malfunctions at box office
Ben Grimm and Reed Richards in The Fantastic Four: First Steps
New Fantastic Four concept art post unveils our best look yet at the Baxter Building – and Marvel fans think they might prefer it to the comic version
Elio and an alien in Elio
Pixar's Elio reportedly underwent massive behind-the-scenes changes after a test screening where no one wanted to pay to watch the movie
Latest in Features
Guy Gardner, Hawkgirl, and Mister Miracle as the Justice Gang in Superman
The Justice Gang explained - The non-Justice League in James Gunn's Superman may be influenced by team of classic DC supervillains
Team Fortress 2 characters looking at a map
I have 464 games on my Steam wishlist, 23 games in my Steam Summer Sale shopping cart, and I can feel my already overstuffed library giving me the side-eye
Heavy Metal Death Can demo screenshot
I got a nicotine rush and set zombies on fire in this PS1-style survival horror demo, and it's basically Resident Evil on a submarine
A PSVR 2 review image next to the marketing reveal image of the Meta Quest 3S, separated by an orange line
Xbox finally has a VR headset, but it's not the PSVR 2 rival I was hoping for
Bravely Default Flying Fairy HD Remaster image showing a giant city built upon a hill by the sea
Bravely Default's remaster is secretly the Switch 2's must-play RPG, but it's still flying under the radar
Rematch players celebrating in a large stadium
"The essence of football is not in the rules": Rematch's creative director on nailing that five-a-side feeling and making a game "about kicking a ball rather than kicking heads in"
  1. Sam fires at the ghost mech squid boss in Death Stranding 2: On the Beach
    1
    Death Stranding 2: On the Beach review: "This tarpunk delivery epic is more Metal Gear Solid than ever, for better and worse"
  2. 2
    Rematch review: "As with Rocket League, the just-one-more-game pull is magnetic"
  3. 3
    Tron: Catalyst review: "Disc slinging is a thrill in this gorgeous rendition of the series, but I'm let down by a time-loop story that falls flat"
  4. 4
    FBC: Firebreak review: "A disappointingly bland multiplayer FPS that's missing far too much of what made Control special"
  5. 5
    Dune: Awakening review: "Both extremely compelling and extraordinarily boring, sometimes at the same time – yet still a true Dune love letter"
  1. A T-rex in Jurassic World Rebirth
    1
    Jurassic World Rebirth Review: "An unscary sequel that needed a little more time in amber"
  2. 2
    M3GAN 2.0 review: "A bold sequel with a slightly underwhelming conclusion"
  3. 3
    28 Years Later Review: "Enough terror, splatter and suspense to satisfy”
  4. 4
    Predator: Killer of Killers review: "Great characters, thrilling action, and gorgeous Arcane-esque animation"
  5. 5
    From the World of John Wick: Ballerina review: "Brilliant action, even if the plot gives you a sense of déjà vu"
  1. Lee Jung-jae as Gi-hun in Squid Game season 3
    1
    Squid Game season 3 review: "A staggeringly excellent final season wraps up one of the greatest Netflix shows ever"
  2. 2
    Ironheart review: "A relic of Marvel's content-at-all-costs era"
  3. 3
    Star Trek: Strange New Worlds season 3 review: "The show's most assured run of episodes to date"
  4. 4
    Doctor Who season 2, episode 8 spoiler review: 'The Reality War' is "a mix of the good, the bad, and the truly baffling"
  5. 5
    Doctor Who season 2, episode 7 spoiler review: 'Wish World' is "an exciting and ambitious" start to the season finale, with hints of WandaVision

GamesRadar+ is part of Future US Inc, an international media group and leading digital publisher. Visit our corporate site.

  • About Us
  • Contact Future's experts
  • Terms and conditions
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies policy
  • Advertise with us
  • Review guidelines
  • Write for us
  • Accessibility Statement
  • Careers

© Future US, Inc. Full 7th Floor, 130 West 42nd Street, New York, NY 10036.

Please login or signup to comment

Please wait...