12 Twisted Movie Love Triangles

The Triangle:

Waif-like Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), departed beau Edward Cullen (R-Pat) and latest attraction Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner)

Does It Get Complicated?

You’d have thought things were going to settle down, what with Edward being a vampire ‘n’ all. He did tend to attract the wrong sort of crowd.

Jacob looks a better bet, doesn’t he? Hunkier, not so pallid...and he’s crazy about Bella. All-round better boyfriend material. Except Bella’s still pining for Edward.

Oh, and Jacob’s a werewolf. Did we not mention that?

The Triangle:

Schoolboy genius Max Fischer (Jason Schwartzman), teacher Rosemary Cross (Olivia Williams) and school patron Herman Blume (Bill Murray).

Does It Get Complicated?

A strange one, this. Miss Cross is far too professional to take advantage of a teenager, and soon starts dating Blume.

But don’t forget the malice of a schoolboy scorned. Max declares all-out war on Blume’s life and belongings. Blume, for his sins, retaliates in kind.

Miss Cross has enough naughty kids to deal with in the classroom. At this rate, they’ll //both// lose her.

The Triangle:

Ranch hands / summer lovers Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal) and Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger), and Ennis’ unsuspecting fiancée Alma Beers (Michelle Williams)

Does It Get Complicated?

Sure does, pardner – largely because of Ennis’ awkward attempts to keep things uncomplicated.

He marries Alma without telling her about his illicit Twist – but when Jack turns up to rekindle the affair years later, Alma soon gets the gist.

But there’s little she can do to stop the boys enjoying their fishing trips away. In the conservative 1960s Midwest, there’s some things you don’t talk about.

Two men going at it hammer 'n' tongues is one of them

The Triangle:

Scientist Seth Brundle (Jeff Goldblum), journalist Veronica Quaife (Geena Davis) and her editor – and ex – Stathis Borans (John Getz).

Does It Get Complicated?

Ordinarily, arrogant jerk Borans wouldn’t stand a chance of getting kooky Veronica back – bug-eyed Brundle is perfect for her.

But Brundle’s not feeling himself these days, and when he is, body parts are coming off in his hands. Not even Borans is that repulsive.

...At least, until Brundle decides to level the playing field by giving his rival an insectoid kiss full of hand and leg-melting corrosive enzyme.

The Triangle:

College roomies Eddy (Josh Charles), Stuart (Stephen Baldwin) and Alex (Lara Flynn Boyle). Wait a minute... Alex is a //girl//? Imagine the possibilities.

Does It Get Complicated?

It’s hard to get scandalised: isn’t this what students do?

But youthful hi-jinks make way for a stern MORALITY LESSON after the buddies make the beast with three backs. Suddenly they can’t look each other in the eye – or, indeed, anywhere else.

Still, until they screen that long-lost Friends’ ep, “The One With The Orgy,” it’ll have to do.

The Triangle:

Grim-faced café owner Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart), sultry ex Ilsa Lund (Ingrid Bergman) and her husband, anti-Nazi insurgent Victor Laszlo (Paul Henreid).

Does It Get Complicated?

Nazis are involved. Nazis always complicate things.

But here Ilsa is the biggest problem. Imagine your ex rocking up with another lover on their arm, and asking you to risk life and limb to help them? Leaving aside the war, that’s just shitty behaviour.

No wonder Rick can’t decide whether to do as she asks or shop Laszlo to the Nazis.

The Triangle:

American in Paris Matthew (Michael Pitt) tangos with free-spirited twins Théo (Louis Garrel) and Isabelle (Eva Green). A little //too// free-spirited. In fact, they’re practically incestuous.

Does It Get Complicated?

Isabelle and Théo are French, aren’t they? Add Michael to the mix...et ooh-la-la!

At first it’s all just talk. About politics. About cinema. About S-E-X. All the while scrubbing each other clean in a big shared bath.

But when Michael starts shagging Isabelle, even Theo can’t hide the bitterness heating his trademark sang froid.

The Triangle:

Yanks abroad Vicky (Rebecca Hall) and Cristina (Scarlett Johansen), brooding artist Juan Antonio (Javier Bardem)...and his ex-wife Maria Elena (Penelope Cruz)

Does It Get Complicated?

A triangle has three sides, right? But Woody Allen’s Spanish siesta takes the tapas approach to dating.

Things get tasty enough when it’s just the small matter of BFFs Vicky and Cristina falling for the same bloke.

But when Juan Antonio invites Maria Elena into a three-way with Cristina the film delivers its spiciest dishes – Scarlett and Penelope, yum yum.

The Triangle:

Cash-strapped newlyweds David and Diana Murphy (Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore), made an offer they can’t refuse by ethically challenged billionaire John Gage (Robert Redford)

Does It Get Complicated?

The deal’s simple enough: Gage gets one night with Diana, the Murphys get $1 million. Scarcely even counts as a triangle.

But when David gets the hump about the, er, hump, things do downhill fast. Clearly, he’s never the heard the one about mixing business and pleasure.
Remember, kids, if you’re gonna sign a contract – keep emotion out of it.

The Triangle:

Office drone C. C. Baxter (Jack Lemmon), boss Mr Sheldrake (Fred MacMurray) and elevator operator Fran Kubelik (Shirley MacLaine)

Does It Get Complicated?

This one ought to be simple. Baxter’s got the perfect bachelor pad for a fling. It’s just a matter of getting Miss Kubelik there.

The catch: Baxter’s des res is common knowledge. He’s already pimping out the place to his bosses as a base for their affairs, and Mr Sheldrake has taken note.

Soon, the problem won’t be getting Miss Kubelik into Baxter’s bed… but getting Baxter into Baxter’s bed.

The Triangle:
Socialite Rose DeWitt Bukater (Kate Winslet), fiancé Cal Hockley (Billy Zane), and amateur artist/Riverdance fan Jack Dawson (Leonardo DiCaprio), all aboard for the RMS Titanic’s maiden voyage.

Does It Get Complicated?
Cal’s got cash... but he’s such a prick that Jack easily floats the boat of the bohemian, Picasso-lovin’ Rose.

Pity about that iceberg, mind. It’s hard to keep a hot romance going when you’re wading waist-deep in freezing Atlantic water.

Jack drowns (sob), while Cal – bullying his way onto a lifeboat – survives (boo). At least Rose has the good taste not to go back to him.

The Triangle:
Arty-farty couple Joe Rose (Daniel Craig) and Claire Mellon (Samantha Morton), plus Jed Parry (Rhys Ifans), fellow witness to a tragic hot air balloon accident.

Does It Get Complicated?

It starts complicated – did you not see the words ‘tragic hot air balloon accident’ above?

That’s all it takes to push loony Jed over the edge and believe that Joe is ‘the one.’

He begins to stalk his chosen love and his increasingly demented behaviour turns to turn mild-mannered Joe a little crazy, too. Maybe they’re not so ill-suited after all?