12 Sordid Movie Affairs

The Film: Yes, this is the one where Glenn Close goes mental and chases Michael Douglas around with a kitchen knife.

She's the original - and best - bunny boiler.

The Affair: When Daniel (Douglas) has a teeny, tiny little fling with Alex (Close), he's eager to sweep it under the rug.

Alex, however, won't let it rest, and things soon get ugly.

Long-Term Relationship? Although Alex hopes it could be the start of a long and passionate affair, her bonfire is well and truly pissed all over when the wife catches wind of it...

The Film: Swimfan was hailed as 'the teenage Fatal Attraction ".

It's a similar idea: boy meets girl, girl seduces boy, girl turns into a psycho. Though this time it's set in a high-school and the stalking features new-fangled e-mail.

The Affair: Ben is in a happy relationship and is doing well at school, as an aspiring professional swimmer.

He accidentally has a bit of rumpy-pumpy in the pool with Madison, his biggest fan. He lives to regret it.

Long-Term Relationship? Madison's not really girlfriend material. We'd give this one a pass.

The Film: Sam Mendes' debut is centred around Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey), a man in the thick of a midlife crisis, who becomes infatuated with his daughter's best friend, Angela (Mena Suvari).

The Affair: The majority of Lester's fling with Angela takes place in his own mind, as a sequence of fantasies.

These fantasies usually involve rose petals. Lots and lots of rose petals. It'd be a nightmare if he got hayfever.

Long-Term Relationship? Happily for al, it turns out that real-life Angela doesn't quite match up to fantasy Angela.

Well, we say all , but Lester does eventually get a bullet in the back of the head so he might as well have... Y'know.

The Film: Face/Off is simply a film about Nicolas Cage and John Travolta swapping faces.

One's a goodie and one's a baddie, but when they swap faces, of course, things get confusing.

If it sounds ridiculously far-fetched, that's because it is.

The Affair: When Castor (the baddie) comes home to Archer (the goodie)'s wife, he assumes the identity of Archer. Therefore, Fake-Archer's relationship with Real-Archer's wife is technically an affair, even if wifey's not aware of it.

Long-Term Relationship? Not likely - the penny was bound to drop sooner or later and Real-Archer is too volatile to keep in the dark for long ("GIVE ME BACK MY FACE!!!")

The Film: Death Becomes Her proved that immortality comes at a hefty price.

Goldie Hawn and Meryl Streep take a potion which grants them eternal youth. It gets a bit gross, though, when they both survive fatal injuries, leaving them weirdly disfigured.

The Affair: While married to Madeline (Streep), Ernest (Bruce Willis) has an affair with Helen (Hawn). The adulterous lovers plot to kill Madeline. Unfortunately, Madeline just won't die.

Long-Term Relationship? Understandably a bit freaked out by the whole thing, Ernest scarpers. It's probably for the best.

The Film: Based on the short story by Annie Proulx, Brokeback Mountain caused a sensation on its release.

This movie affair was sordid enough to stir up a good deal of clamour. And all because Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal get a bit steamy.

We've seen way more offensive love scenes. These guys are pretty!

The Affair: Ledger's Ennis falls in love with Gyllenhaal's Jack. Which is marvellous, except that they both have wives.

Long-Term Relationship? They're in it for the long-haul.

The Film: It's another one involving naughty-boy Jake Gyllenhaal. He just can't keep his trousers on...

Poor Justine (Jennifer Aniston) has a really boring life. She lives in the middle of nowhere and works at the local supermarket. The arrival of Holden (Gyllenhaal) heralds the beginning of a new lease of life.

The Affair: Holden provides a welcome escape from Justine's mundane existence. Until they get found out, that is. Then things stop being so fun.

Long-Term Relationship? It could have worked out wonderfully. But Justine gets cold feet and ruins everything. Tsch!

The Film: Aaand... another film about a bored and isolated woman, trapped in a mundane existence, seeking a little excitement.

Kate Winslet's Sarah is an academic, unhappy in the role of housewife and mother. She has too much intellect for her own good.

The Affair: Underappreciated Sarah buys a raunchy red bathing suit and seduces spunky dad Brad (Patrick Wilson), who's also married.

They tug on that thread and just keep on pulling.

Long-Term Relationship? They get their come-uppance, and then some. The guilt'll surely wash away any lasting loving feelings.

The Film: When housewife Laura (Cecilia Johnson) finds herself falling for Alec (Trevor Howard), she discovers a love which is vibrant and exciting, unlike the dutiful connection she feels for her husband.

The Affair: Alec and Laura's affair is one of the most famous in cinema history.

It's also the most polite. They go about it in such a proper way. It's all terribly, terribly sexless and British.

Long-Term Relationship? Alas, no. And they don't even get to say a proper goodbye, either. It's interrupted by some jibbering idiot at the train station.

The Film: Grady Tripp has writer's block.

He's a college professor with some real problems. One of these problems involves his boss's wife.

The Affair: Grady (Michael Douglas) and Sara (Frances McDormand) appear to be properly in love.

So, although it's deceitful and immoral, it's not so sordid really .

Long-Term Relationship? Why, yes! Sara falls pregnant with Grady's baby.

Nothing keeps a relationship strong like an accidental pregnancy!

The Film: Meryl Streep and Jeremy Irons play Anna and Mike. They're actors playing the parts of Sarah and Charles in a film adaptation of The French Lieutenant's Woman . It's a metafictional party!

The Affair: In the film within the film, Sarah is a mysterious loner - the so-called "French Lieutenant's Woman" - and Charles fancies the pants off her.

He manages to free himself from the shackles of Victorian society in order to pursue his dream woman. Scandal ensues.

Long-Term Relationship? Sarah is a wild one. She will not be tamed or domesticated.

The Film: The movie that launched Dustin Hoffman into the world of superstardom - his performance as stumbling, awkward Ben gave him the leg-up he deserved.

The Affair: Although Anne Bancroft is only six years Hoffman's senior, she plays Mrs Robinson, the lusty older woman.

When Mrs Robinson asks Ben if he'd like to have an affair, he's flustered at first. Of course, ( of course ) he accepts. You would, wouldn't you.

Long-Term Relationship? Ben ends up falling in love with Mrs Robinson's daughter, instead. She's got more shelf-life, after all.